( camera beeps )
( European accent )
"Foreign Affairs," slate one, take one.
Man: Oh, great, we're gonna need
a translator for the slates.
Woman: Hold it a moment, everybody.
Keep rolling.
Man:
What are we holding for?
- Woman: Birds.
- Man: What birds?
Woman: A flock flew by a moment ago.
It looked great.
Man: What makes you think
these birds are coming back, Zacherly?
Zacherly:
I can feel it in my gut, Logan.
Logan:
Cut!
Cut the damn camera!
I've got a feeling
in my gut too,
a sinking feeling that we're
going to be over budget
on the very first setup.
On the last picture,
they were...
like wild dogs.
We didn't come to Greece
to go birdwatching, Zacherly.
So if you please,
madam director,
would you get your ass
in gear
and get the camera rolling,
birds or no birds?
( birds squawking )
( pop music playing )
( laughing )
( man vocalizing )
# Yeah, yeah! #
# Wake up with the sun
upon our face #
# Breeze is blowing clouds
across the sky #
# Troubles disappear
without a trace #
# Living on an island #
# Just you and I #
# We don't need a ticket #
# Just take me by the hand #
# Love is gonna lead us #
# To our promised land #
# Adventures in paradise #
# You take me
around the world #
# When I close my eyes #
# You got me walking #
# On fire and ice #
# And it sure feels nice #
# We can catch a ride #
# Upon a star #
# Dance away our blues
in outer space #
# In your arms,
I've found my Shangri-La #
# Heaven's waiting for me
in your embrace #
# We don't need directions #
# To tell us where to go #
# Love is gonna lead us #
# To a place we know #
# Adventures #
# In paradise #
# You take me
around the world #
# When I close my eyes #
# You got me walking
on fire and ice #
# And it sure feels nice #
# Adventures and imagination... #
What the hell?
# Exotic places
we can play #
# We're making movies
on location #
# The pictures
that we dream #
# Carry us away #
# Yeah yeah yeah yeah #
# Yeah yeah! #
# We're making movies
on location #
# Pictures that we dream #
# Carry us away #
# Adventures #
# In paradise #
# You take me
around the world #
# When I close my eyes #
# You got me walking
on fire and ice #
# And it sure feels nice #
( vocalizes )
# Adventures #
# In paradise #
# You take me
around the world #
# When I close my eyes #
# You got me walking
on fire and ice #
# And it sure feels nice #
# Adventures #
# In paradise #
# You take me
around the world #
-# When I close my eyes-- #
- Logan: Not bad.
- It's ca-ca.
- Well, for ca-ca, it's good ca-ca.
Logan, I can see the strings
on the tray.
Oh, Zach, you can see them.
No one else can. Lights.
It's embarrassing, Logan.
Oh, for Pete's sake, Zach,
will you calm down?
No one of average intelligence
can see anything.
You didn't notice
any strings, did you, snookums?
No, I didn't see anything, Bobo.
Telex from gay Paree.
Brucie, my little creampuff,
about the bathroom set--
a real airplane bathroom
is just too tight.
Could you build me
a bigger one?
Perhaps with some windows?
Whatever you want, chief.
One loo with a view coming up.
( groans )
- Cheese and crackers!
- What's the matter?
Logan, don't tell me
the money fell through.
No, those idiot actors,
they missed the plane.
And the airline refused
to permit Scotty's fiancйe
to bring her pussy aboard.
How rude.
- ( meows )
- Dinner time.
Here you go, Baby Rambo.
Rags, you're not
gonna believe this.
- Listen to this stuff.
- All right, man, what's next? Hit me.
"As Scotty opens
the bathroom door,
a gust of wind whips his hair
to and fro."
( imitates wind whipping )
Dude, don't keep me in suspense.
What happens next?
Check this out.
"The plane shudders,
starts doing barrel rolls
- in a fantastic aerial orgasm."
- All right!
That is sick. The women in
this script are just tits and ass
with nothing but sex
on their minds.
Is that really what you want?
Yes, please.