next rubdown?
Me, Rags, please.
No, me.
Me, Rags.
My skin is so dry.
Please, Rags,
please do me next.
But, Rags,
I was before her.
Babette, honey,
I just did you.
You did my back,
not my front.
Thank you, Lord.
Ahh! Ahh!
Ooh!
I'm sorry about the mess,
but I had to see you again.
Come away with me.
Come to the disco tonight.
Tonight, okay?
The disco tonight!
Murderer!
Drown him!
Hey, guys, it's been a long time
since I've done any cliffdiving.
Seriously.
I guess practice
makes perfect.
That was a good rehearsal,
my soggy little macaroon.
Now let's shoot it.
Just kidding.
Next setup--
the desert insert.
Where the hell is Sean?
Somebody find me Sean!
I think he's off
learning his lines.
He doesn't have any lines.
Dig it, babe.
- Ooh!
- Whoopsie-doodle.
Hey, princess,
what's with the long face?
Nothing. Just that in spite
of my better judgment,
I'm beginning to like you.
Well, it's a good thing
you don't love me.
You'd probably commit suicide.
I've never had a crush
on a playboy before.
Playboy?
What makes you think I'm a playboy?
Hey, Scotty, maybe it's 'cause she's
heard all the banging and screaming
coming from
your dressing room.
I mean,
everybody else sure has.
- Set's in travel.
- Yeah. Gotta roll.
You don't believe him,
do you?
Cut me some slack,
will you?
I don't believe
everything I hear.
I'm here.
Let's shoot this puppy.
Where have you been, Sean?
Get out there.
- Hello, Mrs. Logan.
- Hello, how are you today?
- Wonderful.
- Tell me something.
Has there ever been a time in your life
when you haven't been wonderful?
Not so far.
Everybody ready?
Roll, fan.
Camera, action!
Water! Water!
Water!
Real cute, Scott.
Hey hey hey,
knock it off, you uncured hams.
- Get your poker out there, Sean.
- You want to fight?
Take two coming up.
Sean doesn't have much
of a sense of humor.
That's because what you did
was not funny.
And I suppose
what he did was?
No. Actually you're both
behaving like children.
If you think it's impressing me,
you couldn't be more wrong.
No! No!
Oh, no!
Cleopatra.
Hey, don't forget
you're spoken for, son.
Have you ever been in love
with two women at once?
Not in this incarnation.
Hell yes, several times.
I just never let my left ball
know what my right ball's doing.
So we're juggling lovelies,
are we, Scotty?
I don't know what to do.
Move to Saudi Arabia.
It's legal there.
But liquid libations are not.
Well, that would
be hell, wouldn't it?
Stuck in a desert with two women
and no liquor.
Okay, so the casting dude says,
"I'm sorry, but we're looking
for the Robert Redford type."
And I say, "Dude, that's incredible.
He's my father.
In fact, that's where
I got my blond hair."
I love your hair.
It's so spiky.
Do American girls
like spiky hair?
Hell yeah. I mean, spiky hair
and earrings-- serious turn-ons.
- I'll drink to that.
- All right!
Hey, baby, two bottles
of Dom Perignon
and a funnel right away,
huh?
And why don't we plan on
getting together later on?
We close at midnight,
and I do the dishes.
Would you rather do the dishes
or do me?
The dishes.
Less grease.
Where the hell do you
find these guys, Logan?
They look like a gaggle
of pussycats.
I mean, would you really be frightened
if this guy kidnapped your wife?
Oh yeah, I'd be frightened
for him, poor bastard.
Couple of nights with Lana
would drive a guy bananas
or turn him into some other
kind of fruit.
I'm serious, dickbrain.
The role of
the kidnapper is critical.
We've gotta find someone
who looks real.
Real?
Oh, you want real?
Well, you're gonna get real.
Could you come over here,
please, Dmitri?
Both: Ooh!
Darling, you're not going to
believe the bargains I got.
Everything in the whole
marketplace was on sale.
And you bought it all.
You know, the thing I just love
about shopping here
is the money just
doesn't look real.
You can just spend and spend
and spend and it's like