Well, then you can have it,
both of you.
Morgan.
( sighs )
Great.
Thanks, pal.
I'm sorry, man.
I didn't know she was so sensitive.
She isn't exactly
thrilled that our co-stars
are gonna be topless half the time.
Not that I intend to use this movie
to entice gorgeous young females
to abuse my
overdeveloped body.
- Right.
- Where are you going?
To apologize
to a gorgeous young female,
who I happen
to be engaged to.
Scott, what are you doing?
Morgan, we have to talk.
- About what?
- The movie.
Look, I think you're confusing me
with the character I play in the film.
I'm not a dumb surfer kid
who walked off the beach
with a surfboard
and a hard-on.
I know that.
It's just that for the past few months
we've been alone
and now I have to share you.
- Share me?
- ( blows nose )
Morgan love,
would I have given you this
if I didn't intend
on staying true?
You're the only woman I want.
Oh, Scotty,
you make me just
wanna throw you down
and jump on your bones.
( moaning )
Oh, honey.
- Oh, baby pie.
- Scotty: Oh, sweetheart.
Oh yes, Morgan.
( screaming )
Oh my God! Morgan!
Morgan, pull-- pull the shirt!
Let go of the shirt, Morgan.
Come on. Come on, just pull.
Pull, come on. Morgan.
Coming through.
Look out. Where's the beach?
Hey, my things are
on your board.
- Is this yours?
- Yeah.
- Can you prove it?
- Creep.
Hey, dude, she wants my body.
I can tell.
- ( barking )
- Hey!
Rin Tin Tin, off my board.
Sure, look, just pretend
it's a big bone, okay?
( speaking Greek )
Drugs? Me?
Come on, jump back.
That dog of yours is a little
high-strung. I think he's a doper.
Yeah.
Hey, where are those guys
going with that surfboard?
Rags:
Hey, back off.
( chainsaw buzzing )
No no, not my surfboard!
No! No!
( screams )
Look, man,
there's no drugs in here.
I'm sorry about that, boy.
Enjoy.
What's the matter, bud?
You can't be done hassling me.
My suitcase is still in one piece.
Come on, man, cool out.
Open it.
- What for?
- Come on, open it.
It's obviously unnecessary.
Hold on.
You're on a power trip, right?
I get it.
Don't mess up my shirts.
What is this?
This is obviously
not my suitcase.
( snaps fingers )
Can you believe that?
Drugs in my surfboard?
Yeah, I know. Like you'd have
put them in such an obvious place.
Really.
Cut. Print it.
Both:
Wrapola.
Need a pickup
of the chainsaw, cutie.
Okay, everybody, that's a wrap.
Crew bus leaves in half an hour.
- Cast and Cookie comes with me.
- Girls: Scotty!
Sign your name here, please.
What has he got
that we haven't got?
Looks, charm,
hit TV series.
Holy shit!
This is real.
- Are you ready to go?
- Ready?
Sure, I've got a headache,
my shoulder feels separated
- and I'm bored out of my mind.
- I guess you're ready to go.
Excuse me, Officers,
but that's not real.
It's just a prop for the movie.
You understand?
Movie. You understand?
Movie movie.
It's just parsley.
Cookie.
Look at those silly cops.
They think
the kids are smoking real pot.
They are.
I told Bruce to get the real stuff.
You what?
Doesn't smell anything like grass.
Here, take this back
to the prop truck, please.
( blowing whistle )
- Brucie: Cookie!
- Huh?
Scott, is that a joint
in your hand?
Eww, disgusting!
And you promised me you'd given it up.
- Eat it.
- Are you out of your mind?
- I don't take drugs.
- Morgan, eat it.
( gulps )
Logan:
What do you want, lamebrain?
Did you want to get us
thrown in the slammer?
What I want is reality
on the screen.
Oh, you want reality?
You got it, lady.
You're fired!
Before you fire me,
Logan, I walk.
No no no no, I fired you
before you walked.
Bad news.
Trouble in paradise.
Nothing a quick poke
won't cure.
Next time your phone rings,
it'll be my attorney.
And you'll be hearing
from my agent.
Agh! Cookie, come along.
We have script changes.
Montito, I need you presto.
I'm sorry, sir,
but there's nothing else I can do.
Look, you