much less their liquor.
Hey! Stamata.
Hey, not so fast there, sport.
Ah!
Go to varka.
Stop or I'll shoot!
No no! No-- no, cut!
No no no, cut!
Cut the camera.
Cut!
- They're shooting real bullets!
- Bullets?
Come on, buddy,
they called cut.
Turn this tug around.
Hey, buddy, come on,
they called cut.
He said to shut up
or he'll blow your head off.
With blanks? Ha ha, okay,
we laughed, the joke's over.
Oh, where's my poor Scotty?
What are they doing to him?
You don't think they're
pulling out his fingernails
one by one or--
or burning his feet
with cigarettes, do you?
Oh, what if they
chop off his ears?
Oh, he'll look so ugly.
How will he keep
his sunglasses on?
You seem very very upset.
Why don't I take you up to bed?
I can still see it so clearly--
the flash of the gun,
the hurtling of the bullets towards me.
Snap out of it, will you, Zacherly?
You know, sometimes
reality is so phony.
The reality is we have
one more day to shoot this turkey
and our stars
have been shanghaied.
The ransom note just came.
They're demanding 50 big ones.
$50,000!
No no no no no no no,
not $50,000, Mr. Logan.
$50 million.
It says here
$50 million
in cash tonight
or we cut off his peepee.
What'd she say?
She's mad at him for bringing home
guests without telling her first.
Rich.
You, me-- rich.
Ha!
Rich.
I know you. TV.
Scott Alan Palmer.
That's me here, right.
Right here in the flesh.
Well, Scotty...
how do you like Greece?
It's great. I hope I can come back
and visit sometime
if-- if I make it out of here alive.
I too am actress.
You're an actress?
Of course, I should have known.
Have I seen your work?
You want to see my work?
Yeah-- yeah, sure. Sure.
We'd love to see your work,
wouldn't we, Cleo?
Cleo:
Yeah, sure.
What in the hell was that?
That's "Medea" from Euripides.
Oh.
A woman like me
can only take so much.
I need to be held.
I need to be touched like a woman,
not like a cow.
Make love to me now
here on the floor by the fire
or else-- or else I'll kill myself
with this little dagger.
Yeah!
Yeah, very nice.
Was that more "Medea"?
I think it was Sue Ellen
from "Dallas."
Now that I have bared
my naked soul to you,
you must give me something
I want very badly.
Your autograph.
Getting pretty quiet
over there, princess.
Don't call me that, okay?
This whole thing has been
nothing but drags.
These shoes are killing me.
Ay-- ah!
Oh God.
I can't go on.
- Come on, up and at 'em.
- Oh Scott, I can't.
I can't walk with shoes,
I can't walk without them.
I don't know what to do.
- Can you sing?
- Sing?
Sure, a little bit. Why?
Just to pass the time.
Come on.
One, two, three.
Morgan?
Morgie?
Scotty.
Dude, you're back.
God, man, it's been a killer night.
We didn't know if we
would ever see you again.
It's been quite an evening.
Look, I'll tell you about it later.
I'm looking for Morgan.
Have you seen her?
No, man, not since last night.
Who's that hiding in your bed?
Olly olly oxen free!
- All right, guy.
- Later.
Well, as I live and breathe.
Hey, Carlton, have you
seen Morgan around?
No, son, I can't say that I have.
Mrs. Logan, hi.
So you made it back in one piece.
Well, I guess I could go
and try to rouse the old goat
- and tell him the good news.
- The old goat?
Logan. Put the lights out
last night with a couple of reds
and nature just sort of
took its own course.
Just like in the movies.
Son, there's a familiar tinkle
to that laugh.
So, darling, did you miss me
while I was gone?
Where am I?
Who are you?
How did I get in here?
Scott, I think I must
have amnesia.
Somebody must have
drugged me or something.
Morgie love, you're in bed
with another man.
This is a little awkward.
I don't know what to say...
except thank you both.
Scott, what are you doing?
Repossessing my
little piece of the rock.
- Scott, no!
- By the way,
you guys look great together.
Scotty, wait!
Come back, Scotty!
One