hand
in the Cookie jar.
Pervert! You're through.
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
You're history. Shoo!
Logan, you just fired one
of my supporting leads
and he has to
work again tomorrow.
Replace the degenerate.
One one day's notice?
How?
Throw a souvlaki sandwich
into any crowd.
Anyone you hit will be
a better actor than that turkey.
Logan!
I'll be seeing you later, princess.
Look, Scott,
I didn't mean to be a snob.
I'm just feeling uneasy
about what we're doing.
If my stepfather hears
that we have a nude scene together,
he'll lock me up
and come after you with a knife.
Scotty: Why is it every time I see that
man he has a weapon in his hand?
Maybe it's a sign.
Thanks for a happy night.
Ciao.
( water running )
( cat meowing )
( shrieks )
Scott, what are you trying to do,
give me a heart attack?
I know you've been mad at me,
but I did not expect
to find you in war paint.
Are you making fun
of my avocado mask?
Me? Make fun of that?
Looks pretty stupid.
Morgie, I was only kidding.
Look, if you wanna know the truth,
that guacamole on your face
really turns me on.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Hey, little girl.
I'm Dr. Dan
and I make house calls.
Naughty girl,
have you been cleaning your ears?
Scotty, don't.
You know what
that does to me.
That's why Dr. Dan is doing it.
( moaning )
Guess what.
I ran out of birth control pills.
Are we safe without 'em?
Honey, do we care?
( sighs )
Well, I guess
that's your answer, huh?
And I thought
you loved me.
Morgan, let's not fight.
We can hold off making love
until you get some more pills.
In the meantime, Dr. Dan could use
a little physical therapy,
if you know what I mean.
God!
Oh!
Morgan, you don't know
what it's like on the set
all day surrounded
by these beautiful girls
with beautiful bodies.
Come on, reach out
and touch someone. Me.
Oh, I got you.
So while you lie back
and daydream
about all those
great-looking bodies,
Morgie here does
all the dirty work, right?
Come on,
Dr. Dan just needs a little relief.
You need relief, honey?
Take two of these
and call me in the morning.
I'm taking a bath.
Morgan!
( sighs )
( humming )
Okay, who wants
the next rubdown?
Me, Rags, please.
No, me.
Me, Rags.
My skin is so dry.
Please, Rags,
please do me next.
But, Rags,
I was before her.
Babette, honey,
I just did you.
You did my back,
not my front.
Thank you, Lord.
( instrumental music playing )
Ahh! Ahh!
( snickers )
Ooh!
( screaming )
I'm sorry about the mess,
but I had to see you again.
Come away with me.
Come to the disco tonight.
Tonight, okay?
The disco tonight!
Murderer!
Drown him!
Hey, guys, it's been a long time
since I've done any cliffdiving.
Seriously.
I guess practice
makes perfect.
( screams )
( cheering, applause )
That was a good rehearsal,
my soggy little macaroon.
Now let's shoot it.
Just kidding.
Next setup--
the desert insert.
Where the hell is Sean?
Somebody find me Sean!
I think he's off
learning his lines.
He doesn't have any lines.
Dig it, babe.
- Ooh!
- Whoopsie-doodle.
Hey, princess,
what's with the long face?
Nothing. Just that in spite
of my better judgment,
I'm beginning to like you.
Well, it's a good thing
you don't love me.
You'd probably commit suicide.
I've never had a crush
on a playboy before.
Playboy?
What makes you think I'm a playboy?
Hey, Scotty, maybe it's 'cause she's
heard all the banging and screaming
coming from
your dressing room.
I mean,
everybody else sure has.
- Set's in travel.
- Yeah. Gotta roll.
You don't believe him,
do you?
Cut me some slack,
will you?
I don't believe
everything I hear.
I'm here.
Let's shoot this puppy.
Where have you been, Sean?
Get out there.
- Hello, Mrs. Logan.
- Hello, how are you today?
- Wonderful.
- Tell me something.
Has there ever been a time in your life
when you haven't been wonderful?
Not so far.
Everybody ready?
Roll, fan.
Camera, action!
( groaning )
Water! Water!