excuse me, I'll tell
the captain we're ready to cast off.
Rags, we can't do this.
This is crazy.
Don't be such a squid, dude.
Besides, it's educational.
Hey hey,
where you going?
Wait a sec. Hold on!
Hold the boat.
Hold on!
You can't leave
without me.
Come on, dude, you can make it.
Come on!
I'm with the Semester at Sea.
- Come on, man, run.
- Hold on.
- Come on, dude, jump.
- Hold on.
- Jump!
- I'm com-- oh!
- I lied.
- Come back here, you!
Hey, put that in reverse.
Are you the rich handsome American
we were waiting for?
Bingo. Now didn't we meet
somewhere before,
like maybe in a past life?
Wow, look what the cat
dragged in.
Ashby, Lana?
Hi, Scotty.
What the hell
are you guys doing here?
I'm the captain of this crate.
We bought it as an investment.
This son of a bitch
is a floating tax write-off.
Well, it's sure good
to see you, son.
I get hung-over just thinking
about old times.
We sure did raise a lot
of hell, didn't we?
We don't mind you and Rags
being on board,
so long as we come
to a little understanding.
Anything you say, chief.
Both:
Be on time for class
and do your homework.
( laughs )
I don't know how to swim.
And this is the temple where
they worshipped Rhodus,
the lovely nymph and daughter
of Poseidon,
built in the third century BC.
According to Pindar,
Helios, the god of the sun,
fell in love with the nymph
Rhodus on sight
and decided to marry her.
( camera shutter clicks )
Okay, sucker,
this time wait for papa.
Oh! Oh! Oh...
( camera shutter clicks )
( whistling )
And over here is the recently
restored statue of Rhodus,
the lovely nymph.
Even today, centuries after
she was chiseled out of rock,
we're still struck
by her incredible beauty.
- Cut.
- Zacherly: Cut it.
I can't get it up
for this scene.
What's the matter,
cupcakes?
The script calls for me
to gaze lovingly into her eyes.
How can I?
She's headless.
He seems to want a little head,
madam director.
Sorry, look, I'm an actor.
I need something
to help me fulfill this moment.
How's about 5,000 bucks
a week, butt face?
Listen, honeybuns, until we cast
the part of Rhodus the nymph,
we can't cast the head.
Hey, Scotty,
is this what you need?
Ragos, the nympho.
- Nympho.
- Ooh!
Oh, the statue!
Rags.
Oh, no!
( statue shatters )
Well, hello, everybody.
Great Scott, Scott,
you're a half an hour late.
Get your keister in here.
It's pretty hard to wake up quickly
on your only day off.
I'd think you'd be well rested,
sugar buns,
after sleepwalking
through all your scenes.
Just following
your inspiring direction.
Come on, let's get cracking.
If we don't find our
nymph today,
tomorrow we are screwed.
Who are those guys?
Those are our investors.
And they're very good people, Scott.
Doctors, lawyers, dentists.
Leches.
- I just love investors.
- Yes, I know you do, dear.
Cookie, perhaps you could
trot out the first young lady?
Coming right up, Bobo.
Janay Pilates,
this is our director
and producer and his wife.
Janay is wearing a bathing suit
underneath her dress,
and she wanted to know whether
or not you wanted to see her body
before or after the reading.
I think before.
- Sounds professional to me.
- Definitely.
Dude, what's wrong?
Morgan's punishing me.
- No nooky.
- Why?
When she told me she wasn't
pregnant I was so happy
I French kissed the maid.
Thank you, Janay, A+.
Now let's hear your reading.
"Am I really awake?
Let me pinch myself.
If you love me,
open those lovely lips
and tell me
in your own sweet voice."
( nasally ) "Words of love
are only words,
therefore, think carefully
before you answer me.
Are you really in love with me
or is it just with my body?"
Your body. Next!
"Words of love..."
"...are only words,
therefore..."
"...think carefully before
you answer me."
( laughs )
Shit.
"Are you really in love
with me..."
"...or just with my body?"
- "My body."
- "My body."
- "My body."
- "