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How come the dog gets to sit in there
while we're freezing our ass off out here?
It would be cruel to let him out
on a night like this.
- He's just a dumb animal.
- No, Dave, we're the dumb animals.
Keep it right there.
Over to the side. Yeah, yeah. Stay back.
A little girl?
- I'm coming. All right, I'm here.
- Yeah.
Where were you on the stairway, asshole?
- I was looking for you.
- Oh, yeah, looking for me.
This is my kind of night, Dave.
The wind chill factor's 10 below zero...
that building's an inferno,
my stomach's a goddamn volcano...
and I got an icicle of snot
hanging from my nose.
That's it. This is my last fire.
I'm hanging up my hose.
Bullshit, Jack.
I've heard that from you 1,000 times.
- Bullshit? Oh, yeah?
- Bullshit.
Read this, pal, and weep.
"Paradise for Pennies. A Garden of Eden...
"built on a secluded lagoon, with its own
private dock and speedboat included.
- "Contact Mr. Banks, Saint Nicholas."
- Where the hell is Saint Nicholas?
- It's in the islands, Dave.
- Which islands?
Nice, warm islands.
Go on, ma'am.
- My baby is in there.
- Yes, I know.
My baby.
Damn it. Hand me that crowbar.
Let me know what's happening.
Let me know what the spread is.
- Move along!
- Where's he going?
Get in after him!
Oh, shit!
Come on, baby. It's me, Jack.
Come on.
Come on, baby.
You want to play?
You furry piece of shit.
Get the net! Come on, babe.
Come on, baby. Yeah! Get it, baby.
Jack, Jack! Oh, Jesus! Jack!
- Jack.
- Dave.
I'm here, Jack.
I quit.
Son of a bitch.
Jack, can you hear me?
Limbo time, everybody.
How low can you go?
Do you mind, Jack?
lt's awfully loud, isn't it?
"Awfully loud, isn't it?" Quite true. Sorry.
Terribly sorry.
Jack, this is Captain Toby Prooth
and Phillipa Lloyd.
They just came in from Antigua.
Toby has the most beautiful sloop.
Yes, he does. Are you cast or crew?
Strictly crew.
And, of course, you know the Governor.
Oh, the formerly honorable
Anthony Croyden Hayes. Your Excellency.
Good gracious, man, are you still here?
You remind me of a sort of strange
vegetation that just popped up...
and now we can't get rid of.
It seems that you've been here for a year.
Oh, it's just been five months. But tempus
really fugits when you're having fun.
That's what I love about you tourists:
the instant you get your pink feet...
into some sand, you start thinking about
giving up the dry-cleaning business...
in Cleveland and moving to the islands.
Are you in the dry-cleaning business,
Mr. Moniker?
Hat-blocking? Xerox repair?
Fireman, sir. Chicago fireman. Retired.
- That's interesting.
- There's a smashing yacht club...
in Chicago. Belmont Harbor.
Well, you see,
yachting's a little tough in Chicago...
'cause they tend to shoot at you
from the South Shore.
Yes, you have a nice, steady kind
of violence in the States. Very predictable.
Here in the jungle, it's basically long,
tedious periods of sweltering doldrums...
punctuated by the occasional bloodbath.
I think we're due for one at any minute.
Now, now, Tony...
don't start those wild rumors
about revolution again.
Well, it happened in Kenya, didn't it?
They dragged those fat burghers
from their beds in the dead of night...
forced them to drink blood
through a severed sheep's penis...
and then hacked them to pieces
with machetes.
It isn't bad as all that.
Besides, I don't think there are any sheep
on Saint Nicholas.
I heard about this guy in Cicero.
He stiffed a loan shark. So a couple
of these guys got him. Cut off his arm...
beat him to death with the arm...
then shoved the arm in a food processor,
and made a dip out of it.
Then they served it to his family
at his sister's wedding.
And his sister loved it so much
she wanted the recipe.
It's a crazy world, isn't it?
You two are a cheerful pair.
Flotsam and jetsam.
My dear young lady, unlike you...
I have not spent my life cruising
from discotheque to

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