Grace.
I'm supporting thousands of mosquitoes.
This is paradise.
You can keep looking for paradise,
but I don't think you'll find it in this world.
What's your idea of paradise?
When I think of paradise, I picture myself
in an expensive hotel suite in New York...
with two hopelessly depraved
young women.
I'd love to join you, but I gotta get back
to the club. See, I'm expecting an army.
Still the bold fireman?
You're the same all over the world.
You like to drive fast,
throw water on things, and leave a mess.
Yeah, and what about you? You've been
hanging out here for 15 years...
drinking tea off a lace doily, saying,
"lt doesn't matter."
It does matter, pal, because your
Prime Minister's gone completely nuts.
And I got a partner down there
about to start a revolution...
and a lot of innocent people will be hurt
unless you and I do something real fast.
'Cause it won't just stop there,
'cause if this island goes up...
then tomorrow another one,
and another one...
then the Americans get nervous,
and the Russians get scared.
Then some old fart gets really worried,
pushes the button.
Hey! There goes Cleveland
in a blinding white flash.
I got an uncle, Sid, who lives in Cleveland,
makes this noise...
I don't want that on my conscience. Okay?
Right!
You and Ernest go off and start the war.
I'll be there shortly with a nuclear weapon.
- On our side?
- Of course.
Oh, be careful of the soldiers.
They'll shoot you on sight.
Well, I'll take an umbrella. Your Grace.
You're safe. But you gotta go away.
Hey, what kind of welcome is that?
- But what are you doing back here?
- I've gotta put out a fire.
Come on.
Morning, everyone.
One brief announcement.
I'd like you
to gather all your possessions...
and meet me on the beach in five minutes.
No need to panic,
it's just in case there's a civil war today.
- Civil war?
- Civil war?
Rebels!
No, come on now, they're not rebels.
Just a local ROTC drill team.
You and your people
had better get out of here, man.
You're my people.
Phillipa is my people.
Why don't we all get out of here?
- There's no other way.
- What about a live, televised debate?
We have no TV, man.
Oh, yeah, rattan's gonna make
a great bulletproof barricade.
- Why don't you just build a wicker tank?
- The chairs you can grab.
Wait, wait. Stop right there.
I'm going to get this. Hold on.
Wait a minute.
Hold it right there. Don't move.
- Move it! Get your asses...
- Wait. Wait a second.
Hold it right there. Perfect.
- Barry!
- Barry! I scored!
Nice outfit.
Where'd you get this?
You didn't bring this with.
No, I just got it.
- Is it cotton?
- Hopsack.
- See, that's cool for this climate.
- Yeah.
Let's go.
Hold it there, Mr. Gundy.
I got you covered. You're on my property.
One more move and I'll shoot.
Hold it right there, Mr. Island Jack.
I want to know what the hell's going on,
and I want to know right now.
Listen, buddy, I'm trying to stop a war,
okay? Give me a break.
Right on.
- Fire!
- I hear you.
Limbo time. How low can you go?
Go, go, go!
Where you going?
Shit!
What is this?
Up, you fools. Please, just get up! Up! Up!
Onward, troops!
Go on! Just go on and go! Get them!
Surrender, Ernest Reed...
and you will all be released unharmed.
He's not here!
Kill them all!
No prisoners!
I don't want to die, Randy!
I don't want to die...
- Shut up.
- Okay.
Look! Look, man!
Oh, Your Grace.
Mr. Gundy...
as the official representative of
her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II...
I order you to withdraw at once,
or I shall be forced to shoot you...
between the eyes
with a rather large bullet.
Draw, Sir Anthony?
Never.
Soldiers, I order you
to disperse that crowd at once.
If they don't move, shoot them.
They shoot, you die.
You know...
it's amazing how people
can get themselves in these situations...
when, if you stop and think about it...
you'll see that, basically, you guys
are not that far apart on