bom bom bom ba da bom bom bom
ba da dom bom bom bom dee dum
- Ask him.
- Shh.
- Ask him.
- Shh!
Look at him, grandpa.
Ask him!
Ryan, that's enough.
Uh, I'm sorry.
He, uh... he thinks you're Santa Claus.
I am.
Merry Christmas.
Uh, merry--Merry Christmas.
Nuts.
I should have got his autograph.
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtail ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
In a sleighing song tonight
oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way
oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh
hey, jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way
oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh
What is the problem?
Your Santa Claus is wearing
a topcoat and a fedora.
Here we are!
Ya-ha! Ha ha ha ha!
That's not my Santa Claus.
Right. Now... throw it out...
Bring it up right up high,
and down she comes!
It's just in the wrist, you see.
It's really quite simple, you know,
when you get the knack.
Now then, why don't you...
OK, pops, come on. It's my turn.
Give me the whip.
What have you been drinking?
Just something to keep me warm.
Give me the whip.
You are intoxicated, sir.
And you're a pain in the butt.
Give me...
Let me tell you something.
You are a disgrace!
You have any idea how many children
are watching you...
this very minute you're drinking?
Give me back the whip.
Let me tell you something, young man...
when you put on this suit,
you represent something that has
great significance to millions of people
all over the world.
Now, I could overlook your
poorly-manufactured jacket
or even your ludicrously
unbelievable beard.
Hey!
Or perhaps your
phonily-padded tummy,
but... I will not tolerate
public drunkenness.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Can I get a cop over here?
That's a very good idea. Officer!
Hey, wait a minute, you.
Mrs. Walker! Mrs. Walker!
Mrs. Walker, we need your help here!
Your sense of occasion is something...
If you're not with the parade,
get back on the sidewalk with everybody else
I need to see whomever's in charge
to alert them to this man drunking condition
Kiss my...
Oh, easy! Take it easy!
Gramps, come on, hey.
Let's go for a little walk.
That man's a degenerate.
It's time to go right up in the old office.
Ha ha!
Little drafty there.
Hey, let's just watch the parade, OK?
Come on.
OK Settle in here.
Oh!
Oh, my god.
Get this costume fixed.
OK, we'll show this guy how to do it.
Whoa!
Aah!
Oh.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night.
Sir!..
Sir! Excuse me.
- Hello. I-I'm Dorey Walker.
- Oh.
Director of special projects for
C.F.Cole's department store.
My pleasure. As a matter of fact,
I was looking for you a few moments ago.
There's no doubt you saw
your Santa Claus is inebriated.
I know. He has created
such a terrible problem.
Millions of children are watching here
and on television.
And they're expecting to see Santa Claus,
and now we don't have one.
That is a terrible problem.
Would you do it?
Would you be our Santa Claus?
Uh, me?
Well, do you have any experience?
Well... just a little.
Great. I'm sure you'll be fine.
Isn't there someone else
that you could ask?
Sir, the parade has started already.
It's you right now, or else...
there's no Santa in the Cole's
Thanksgiving Day parade.
Might I perhaps have a moment
to think about it?
Don't worry about a thing.
Just... be yourself.
Now, dasher!
Now, dancer!
Now, prancer and vixen!
Now, comet! Now, cupid!
Now, donner and blitzen!
Hey!
Merry Christmas.
Merry Chris...
This Santa Claus is fantastic.
Did he sign a contract?
There wasn't any time.
Myrna's going to have him sign
after the parade.
She'll have him fill out his employment
papers, and he'll start in the