Susan elizabeth walker. What's yours?
Mine?
Ha ha ha ha.
Well, I have lots of names.
Uh, Kriss kringle,
Santa Claus, father christmas,
saint nicholas.
If you were in holland, I'd be sinterklaas,
or in italy, le befana.
I have to speak many languages
because, of course, I travel a great deal.
That's russian.
That's swahili.
My mother's Mrs. Walker.
She's director of special events for cole's.
Uh-huh.
She runs the parade.
I know how this all works.
You're an employee of cole's.
That is true.
But you're a very good Santa Claus.
Your beard's stuck on real tight.
Usually the store Santa Claus
whiskers are too loose.
Yours look realistic.
That's because they are real.
You give them a tug.
Whoo! Ha ha ha.
Are you convinced?
Mm-hmm.
Good.
This isn't the regular Santa suit, is it?
Oh, no. This is the real Santa suit.
It's very nice.
I agree. Lovely.
Gold buttons, gold thread.
It's as real as me.
Well, you ask your daddy if I'm real.
I don't know where he is.
Well, he's-
That's my friend Mr. Bedford.
I don't have a dad anymore.
Ha. Well, now,
what can I get you for christmas?
Nothing, thank you.
Nothing?
My mother buys my gifts
if I don't want something too stupid
or dangerous or...
Hi, mom.
Hi. It's nice to see you.
Susan,
you've taken enough of this man's time.
There's a long line of customers,
and they do come first.
Nice to meet you, Susan.
Nice to meet you, too.
Bye-bye.
Nonbelievers.
Right.
If I felt that it was important for her
to see Santa Claus,
I would be happy to take her.
I didn'tsee any harm in her saying hello
to an interesting old man.
Well, there is harm.
I tell her that there is no Santa Claus,
so you bring her down here,
And she sees thousands of gullible kids,
and she meets an actor a very good actor,
mind you?
with a real beard and a beautiful Santa suit,
Sitting smack dab in the center
of a child's fantasy world.
So, who does she believe, the myth or...
the mom?
Listen, I just got some mistletoe.
Why don't we go back to my place
and try it out?
No.
I don't think so.
O.k. I'm here. I can help.
All you have to do is ask.
Well, actually, there is one thing.
Would you mind taking Susan home?
Sure.
I'm working at cole's.
All I have to do is to be myself.
There you are. Ha ha.
That's it.
Very good. Very good.
Excuse me.
Oh.
Good evening.
My name is jack duff.
How do you do?
And this is alberta leonard.
How do you do?
Pleasure.
Nice to meet you both. I'm Kriss kringle.
Well, Mr. Kringle,
we're with shopper's express,
the department store.
Yes. You've got the peter pollywog on sale.
Right.
Yes, we do.
We want you to be our main Santa Claus.
We have over 7,000 stores worldwide,
but you would be the number one guy.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but the people at cole's have already hired me.
In fact, I've signed a contract.
If you'll excuse me, it's getting a bit late.
Give you a ride?
I can walk. It's probably out of your way.
Where are you going?
4th street, the mount carmel senior center.
We're going right by it.
It's on our way.
Thank you so much.
Um, bye-bye, prancer.
Bye-bye, dancer.
So tell me, Santa.
How does one guy get to every house
around the world in one night?
Ah, yes. Well, now
that is a vexing question, isn't it?
You see, if you could slow time down
so that a second became a year,
A minute became a century,
and an hour became a millennium,
Well, you could manage it quite easily,
couldn't you?
I remember before-Well,
100 years ago,
before the population explosion,
I could manage
To deliver all my goods
and have enough time left over for a
late supper, A nap,
and a round of golf
with the easter bunny.
He winters in new zealand, you know.
Thank you so much.
Thank you both very much indeed.
Merry christmas to you, miss leonard.
Merry, merry christmas to you, Mr. Duff.
Same to you, Santa.
Thank you very much.
Good night.
He's completely out of his mind.
Imagine