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/ - 01-09

- 01-09

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What is Holland?
What do you mean, "what is it"?
It's a country right next to Belgium.
No, that's the Netherlands.
Holland *is* the Netherlands.
Then who are the Dutch?
You know I cannot stand this thing anymore.
I know, I hate it too.
I feel like an out of work
porn star.
I told you, we should have taken
some kind of vacation.
Well why didn't we?
Because you said this would be better.
A  vacation from ourselves.
That's what you said.
What if we grew muttonchops?
Buzz cuts? Parachute pants!
Stop it, George. Stop it.
I'm sorry, you've gotta get a job.
Hey hey hey, check me out, huh?
No more crutches,
that must be a relief.
Yeah, with crutches
everyone has questions.
Not with a cane?
Nah, with crutches
it's a funny story,
with a cane it's a sad story.
You through with those?
Always a sad story. Hey, you
should have been here tonight.
Some guy from NBC saw my set,
he wants me to do a showcase.
I might have another shot
at a pilot.
Alright, we're back in!
We? No.
Ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Bania.
Thank you, thank you,
Hey, Jerry, didja see me up there?
I was killing, Jerry.
Killing. I killed.
I'm gonna go pick
up some chicks.
Good looking ones,too!
Hey, what's your name?
Because I killed first
and warmed up the crowd.
He's like that fish
that attaches himself to the shark.
And you're the shark?
Yeah, I'm the shark and he's
the fish eating my laughs.
I don't know how
a fish could eat laughs.
Well, I'm glad
I brought it up.
Got any shredded coconut?
Uh, we're not doing that anymore.
Yeah, yeah, right.
Oh my god.
I got a job interview.
They want to see me this afternoon.
So what's this job?
Oh, it's beautiful. It's in sports.
Knicks? Rangers?
Playground equipment.
Welcome back to the show.
Yeah, this is better.
So, you got any shredded coconut?
I gotta hobble.
D-d-d-d. I gotta switch shaving
cream. I'm getting no protection.
What kind do you use?
Whatever you get.
Look, postcard from Elaine
from Europe.
Don't tell me she's dragging another
poor guy across Europe.
Remember David Puddy?
She's dating him again, huh?
Well, I guess she's batted around
and she's back at the top of the order.
Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine.
That guy's coming home in
a body bag.
Well, let's see, I've got a ten kroner,
a five kroner, a twenty kroner.
No wait, that's another ten kroner.
A fimty kroner?
How much is that?
We have to break up.
I can't take this anymore!
I don't want to hear how interesting
the change with the hole in it is!
And if you tell me what time
it is in New York again,
you are going home in a body bag!
Well what about you?
What do you think The Gap in Rome
has that's notin The Gap on Broadway?
Okay, alright listen. Forget about
The Gap because we are through!
Okay, terminal three.
Have a nice flight.
Ladies and gentlemen, our flight time,
with stopovers, will be
approximately 22 hours.
Hey, you gonna bust out
that drink cart or what?
Hey, what are you doing?
Oh, I'm taking this lace out.
It came undone and
touched the floor of a
men's room. That's the end of that.
Did you see Bania's set last night?
'Cause I read on the Internet
he killed.
He killed. He only does well when
he has me for a lead-in.
He's a time slot hit.
Well, you gotta give him
some credit.
You're just being totally ridiculous.
I'll see you later buddy.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
Do I have to ask?
I ran out of butter so I had
to borrow yours.
Anything else, Mr. Nosy?
Why are you buttering your face?
I'm shaving with it.
Oh Moses smell the roses.
Jerry, it's vastly superior to any
commercial shaving cream.
Now feel  my face.
Feel it.
I don't want to.
Feel it. Feel it.
That is close.
I got the job?
I don't want you to think that
anyone's gonna treat you any differently
just because of your, uh, handicap.
 -  01-09

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