they had -
but so did another man.
As I rained blows opon him,
I realized there had to be another way!
What happened to the doll?
It was destroyed.
But out of that, a new holiday was born.
"A Festivus for the rest of us!"
That musta been some kind of doll.
She was.
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas!
Oh, Sandy! Here is a little something for you.
Oh... thanks.
Phil, I loved those cigars!
Incoming!
Aw, Mr. Kruger, Sir.
Merry Christmas!
Not if you could see our books.
What is this?
The Human Fund.
Whatever.
Exactly.
Erica!
And at the Festivus dinner,
you gather your family around,
and you tell them all the ways
they have disappointed you over the past year.
And is there a tree?
No. Instead, there's a pole.
Requires no decoration.
I find tinsel distracting.
Frank, this new holiday of yours
is scratching me right where I itch.
Let's do it then!
Festivus is back!
I'll get the pole out of the crawl space.
Hello, Frank.
Hello, woman.
Kramer! Kramer -
any word from the vest?
No.
Listen, Harry, I need the 23rd off.
Hey! I hired you to work during the holidays.
This is the holidays.
But it's Festivus.
- What?
You know you're infringing
on my right to celebrate new holidays..
That's not a right.
Well, it's going to be!
Because I'm going back on strike.
Come on Elaine.
It's a walk out!
No, I got to stay here
and wait for the call.
What? You're siding with management?!
No, I'm just..
Scab! Scab! Scab!
Hey.
Boy, am I glad to see you.
You were expecting someone else?
You never know.
You know,
you might want to take the tunnel.
So, uh, what do you feel like eating?
Chinese or Italian?
I could go either way.
You're telling me.
So, she was switching?
Back and forth?
The whole time.
She was like a 3-D baseball card
that changes depending on the angle.
So one minute she's pretty and at the plate,
and the next she's ugly
and advancing the runners?
So what happened next?
Well, we stopped by here, and -
Actually, the only place she always looked good
was in that back booth over there.
So, just bring her here.
This is all you really need.
I can't just keep bringing her
to the coffee shop.
I mean, what if things, you know, progress?
Lights out.
Alright, I'll give it a shot!
I do really like this coffee shop.
Nice cuff links, by the way.
Office Christmas gift.
I tell you, this Human Fund is a gold mine!
That's not a french cuff shirt, you know.
I know. I cut the button off
and poked a hole with a letter opener.
Oh, that's classy.
Well, Happy Festivus.
What is that? Is that the pole?!
George, Festivus is your heritage -
it's part of who you are.
That's why I hate it.
There's a big dinner Tuesday night at Frank's house.
Everyone's invited.
George, you're forgetting
how much Festivus has meant to us all.
I brought one of the casette tapes.
Read that poem.
I can't read it.
I need my glasses!
You don't need glasses,
you're just weak! You're weak!
Leave him alone!
Alright, George.
It's time for the Festivus feats of strength.
No! No! Turn it off!
No feats of strength!
I hate Festivus!
We had some good times.
Hey.
Hi there.
This is Kramer, and Frank.
Hi.
Hello.
So, you ready to go?
Uh, why don't we stay here?
The back booth just opened up.
Now this is a good looking booth.
Protect Festivus!
Hey, no bagels, no bagels, no bagels,
Lady, if you want a sandwich,
I'll make you a sandwich.
I want the one that I earned.
I'll get it. I'll get it!
H&H, and Elaine.
Elaine, you should get out of there.
I sabotaged the bagel machine last night.
It's going down.
What did you do?
You've been warned.
Oh, hi!
Hey, the steam valve's broke.
Can we still make bagels?
Sure. It's just a little steamy.
Hey!
How do you like your bagels now?
George, I got something for you.
I'm suppose to find a charity
and throw some of the company's money at it.
They all seem the same to me,
so what's the difference?
20 thousand dollars?
Made out to the