Right.
Hi, I'm, uh, Jason. I'm a
rage-aholic.
- Hi, Jason.
Uh, this is my first meeting.
- Step-skipper. That man is a step-skipper!
He skips Step Nine!
- Please. Step Nine.
That's right! He never
apologized to me for saying
that I would stretch out the
neck hole of his sweater.
It wasn't funny.
It was a very nice sweater. Take a
look at his neck, not to mention
the melon sitting on top of it.
I don't know if I'd trust him with a V-neck.
He's beboppin' and
scattin', and I'm losin' it!So, Whatley's still Jewish, huh?
Oh, sure.
Without the parents, it's a breeze.
Hey!
Happy Chanukah!
Hey, Tim.
Great party.
Hey, George, thanks again for
getting me those Yankee tickets.
Oh, yeah.
Still in good with the ground crew.
That's good.
Look, I'd better circulate.
Happy Chanukah, Tiffany!
This place is like
Studio 54 with a menorah.
I'm gonna get some more
of these kosher cocktail franks..
Oh,  I got denim vest checking me out.
Fake phone number's coming out tonight.
You have a standard fake?
M-hm.
Spells out N-O-E-L-A-I-N-E.
Isn't that eight letters?
The extra E is for 'Echhh'.
That's neat.
No, please! Denim vest!
He's smoothing it!
Jerry! God!
Hi!
Hi, I'm Jerry.
- Hi.
You might not know it to look at me,
but I can run really, really fast.
Nice vest.
I like the... big metal buttons.
They're snaps.
Listen, maybe we should, uh,
go out some time?
Why don't I give you my phone number?
How'd it go with that girl?`
Great. I'm going out with her tomorrow night.
How'd it go with the cocktail franks?
Great! I ate the entire platter!
Had to call in sick today.
Didn't you call in sick yesterday?
Hey, I work for Kruger Industrial Smoothing.
"We don't care, and it shows."
You're gonna open your mail here?
Hey, at least I'm bringing something to this.
"Have you seen me?" Nope.
Woah, something from Whatley.
See? You give, and you get.
This is what I'm trying to teach you.
"This holiday season, a donation
has been made in your name to the Children's Alliance."
Oh, that's nice.
I got him Yankees tickets! He got me a piece of paper
saying "I've given your gift to someone else"!
To a children's charity!
Don't you see how wrong that is?
Where's your Christmas spirit?
And eye for an eye!
Don't give me anything this year.
Hey!
Hey.
Oh, nothing for me.
I'm going to "Atomic Sub" later.
"Atomic Sub"?
Why are you eating there?
I got a card,
and they stamp it every time I buy a sub.
24 stamps, and I become a submarine...
captain.
What does that mean?
Free sub.
What?
Nothing.
It's a card from my dad.
What is it?
"Dear son, Happy Festivus."
What is Festivus?
It's nothing, stop it..
When George was growing up..
Jerry, No!
His father..
- No!
... hated all the commercial and religious aspects
of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday.
Oh... and another piece of the puzzle
falls into place.
Alright..
And instead of a tree,
didn't your father put up an aluminum pole?
Jerry! Stop it!
And weren't there a feats of strength
that always ended up with you crying?
I can't take it anymore!
I'm going to work! Are you happy now?!
Hey, neighbor.
Are you reading my VCR manual?
Well, we can't all be
reading the classics, Professor Highbrow.
Oh, I can't believe it!
I've lost my "Atomic Sub" card!
Oh no! I bet I wrote that fake number
on the back of it when I gave it to denim vest!
So?
I've eaten 23 bad subs,
I just need 1 more!
It's like a long, bad movie,
but you want to see the end of it!
No, you walk out.
Alright, then, it's like a boring book,
but you gotta finish it.
No, you wait for the movie!
I want that free sub.
You don't need the card.
High-end hoagie outfit like that,
it's all computerized!
Technology! They're cloning sheep now.
No, they're not cloning sheep.
It's the same sheep!
I saw Harry Blackstone do that trick
with two goats and a handkerchief
on the old Dean Martin show!
I gotta get ahold of Denim Vest!
So, why don't you just