(Man) 'WHenever I get gloomy
witH tHe state of tHe world,
'l tHink about tHe arrivals gate
at HeatHrow airport.
'General opinion makes out
tHat we live in a world of Hatred and greed
'but I don't see tHat.
'Seems to me tHat love is everywHere.
'Often it's not particularly dignified
or newswortHy but it's always tHere.
'FatHers and sons, motHers and daugHters,
Husbands and wives,
'boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends.
'WHen tHe planes Hit tHe Twin Towers,
'none of tHe pHone calls from people on
board were messages of Hate or revenge,
'tHey were all messages of love.
'lf you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling
you'll find tHat love actually is all around.'
I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
Feel it in my toes, yeaH
Love is all around me
And so tHe...
- (Feedback)
- I'm afraid you did it again, Bill.
(SigHs) It's just I know tHe old version
so well, you know.
Well, we all do.
THat's wHy we're making tHe new version.
RigHt, OK, let's go.
( lntro begins)
I feel it in my fingers
In my fingers
I feel it in my toes
Feel it in my toes, yeaH
Love is all ar...
OH, fuck, wank, bugger,
sHitting arseHead and Hole.
Start again.
( lntro begins)
I feel it in my fingers
In my fingers
I feel it in my toes
Feel it in my toes, yeaH
CHristmas is all around me
All around me
And so tHe feeling grows
So tHe feeling grows
It's written in tHe wind
In tHe wind
It's everywHere I go
verywHere I go
So if you really love CHristmas
Love CHristmas
Come on and let it snow
Come on and let it...
THis is sHit, isn't it?
Yep, solid gold sHit, maestro.
- God, I'm so late.
- It's just round tHe corner, you'll make it.
You sure you don't mind
me going witHout you?
No, really. I'm just feeling so rotten.
- I love you.
- I know.
I love you even wHen you're sick
and look disgusting.
I know. Now, go or you will actually miss it.
RigHt.
- Did I mention tHat I love you?
- Yes, you did. Get out, loser.
Karen, it's me again.
I'm sorry, I literally don't Have
anybody else to talk to.
Absolutely. Horrible moment, tHougH.
Can I call you back?
Of course.
Doesn't mean I'm not terribly concerned
tHat your wife just died.
Understood.
Er, bugger off, call me later.
So wHat's tHis big news?
We've been given our parts
in tHe nativity play
and I'm tHe lobster.
- THe lobster?
- YeaH.
- In tHe nativity play?
- YeaH. First Lobster.
THere was more tHan one lobster present
at tHe birtH of Jesus?
DuH.
Best sandwicHes in Britain.
Try my lovely nuts?
Beautiful muffin for a beautiful lady.
Morning, my future wife.
(Man) OK, you can stop tHere. THanks.
(2nd man) I need a couple of orange gels.
By tHe way, He introduced me as JoHn
but everyone calls me Jack.
OH, fine. Nice to meet you, Jack.
He got me rigHt, tHougH. I'm just Judy.
Great, Just Judy!.
- No surprises?
- No surprises.
- Not like tHe stag nigHt?
- Unlike tHe stag nigHt.
- You admit tHe prostitutes were a mistake?
- I do.
And it would've been mucH better
if tHey'd not turned out to be men?
THat is true.
Good luck, kiddo.
(CHeering, applause)
(Press sHouting) Prime Minister, over Here!.
(CHeering)
THank you.
- Welcome, Prime Minister.
- WoH! I must work on my wave.
How are you?
- How are you feeling?
- Erm...
Cool. Powerful.
Would you like to meet
your HouseHold staff?
Yes, I would like tHat very mucH indeed.
AnytHing to put off
actually running tHe country.
- THis is Terence. He's in cHarge.
- Morning, sir.
Good morning.
I Had an uncle called Terence.
Hated Him, I tHink He was a pervert.
But I very mucH like tHe look of you.
- THis is Pat.
- Hello, Pat.
Good morning, sir. I'm tHe Housekeeper.
OH, rigHt. I sHould be easier tHan tHe last lot.
No nappies, no teenagers, no scary wife.
And tHis is Natalie. SHe's new, like you.
- Hello, Natalie.
- Hello, David. I mean, sir.
SHit, I can't believe I've just said tHat.
And now I've gone and said "sHit".
Twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
You could'