one problem.
WHat?
Well, we're not tHe ricHest of girls,
you know.
So we just Have a little bed and no coucH.
So you'd Have to sHare witH all tHree of us.
And on tHis cold, cold nigHt it's gonna be
crowded and sweaty and stuff.
And we can't even afford pyjamas.
No?
WHicH means...
we would be naked.
No, no, I tHink it'd be fine.
- (Girls) Great.
- Erm...
THe tHing tHat's gonna make it
more crowded...
Harriet. You Haven't met Harriet.
- THere's a fourtH?
- YeaH.
Don't worry, you're totally gonna like Her
cos sHe is "tHe sexy one".
- Really? Wow.
- YeaH.
- Praise tHe Lord!
- OH, and He's a CHristian.
(All) CHeers.
¶ If I could
¶ THen I would
¶ I'll go wHerever you will go
¶ Way up HigH
¶ Or down low
¶ I'll go wHerever you will go
¶ If I could turn back... ¶
One present only eacH tonigHt.
WHo's got one for Dad?
- I Have.
- Let Mummy go first.
- I'll get it.
- No, no, no. I want to cHoose mine.
I tHink I want...
-..tHis one.
- I Have bougHt tHe traditional scarf as well
but tHis is my otHer,
sligHtly special, personal one.
THank you.
THat's a real first.
- Rip it!
- WHat is it?
I'm going to... All rigHt, I'll rip it.
God, tHat's a surprise.
(Daisy) WHat is it?
It's a CD. Joni MitcHell, wow.
To continue your emotional education.
Yes.
Goodness.
THat's great.
- My brilliant wife.
- AH, yes.
Actually, do you mind if I just absent myself
for a second?
All tHat ice cream. Er...
Darling, could you make sure
tHe kids are ready to go?
- Back in a minute.
- (Harry to kids) All rigHt, take it easy.
(Bernie) Mine first. Mine.
(¶ Joni MitcHell: BotH Sides Now)
¶ Moons and Junes
¶ And Ferris wHeels
¶ THe dizzy dancing way tHat you feel
¶ As every fairy tale comes real
¶ I've looked at love tHat way
¶ But now it's just anotHer sHow
¶ And you leave 'em laugHing wHen you go
¶ And if you care
¶ Don't let tHem know
¶ Don't give yourself away
¶ I've looked at love
¶ From botH sides now
¶ From give and take
¶ And still someHow
¶ It's love's illusions tHat I recall
¶ I really don't know love
¶ I really don't know love at all
¶ Tears and fears
¶ And feeling proud
¶ To say I love you rigHt out loud
¶ Dreams and scHemes
¶ And circus crowds
¶ I've looked at life tHat way
¶ OH but now old friends... ¶
OH, my God.
It's a miracle. You're all dressed.
Come on, come on, come on,
we're Horribly late.
Come on, tHen. In tHe car. In tHe car.
¶ Well sometHing's lost
¶ But sometHing's gained
¶ In living every day ¶
- Has sHe noticed you yet?
- No.
But tHe tHing about romance is people
only get togetHer rigHt at tHe very end.
Of course.
By tHe way, I feel bad. I never ask you
How your love life is going.
Er-HuH!
No.
As you know,
tHat was a done deal long ago.
Unless Claudia ScHiffer calls, in wHicH case
I want you out of Here straigHtaway,
- you wee motHerless mongrel.
- OH!
No, no. We'll want to Have sex
in every room, including yours.
(Male DJ)
'It's a rainy CHristmas Eve all over tHe UK
'and tHe question is wHo is number one
on tHe Radio One cHart sHow tonigHt?
'ls it Blue or tHe unexpected
CHristmas sensation from Billy Mack?
'You migHt Have guessed it
altHougH you may not believe it.
'It's Billy Mack.'
- You are tHe cHampion!
- (Crowd) SHH.
- 'Hi, Billy.'
- Hello.
'We're live across tHe nation
and you're number one.
- 'How will you be celebrating?'
- I don't know.
Er, eitHer I could beHave like
a real rock'n'roll loser
and get drunk witH my fat manager...
or, wHen I Hang up,
I'll be flooded by invitations
to a large number of glamorous parties.
'Let's Hope it's tHe latter. Here it is.
Number one, from Billy Mack,
- 'it's CHristmas Is All Around.'
- OH, Jesus, not tHat crap again.
¶ I feel it in my fingers... ¶
Bill, it's for you, babe.
Hello. Elton.
O-Of course. Of course.
Send an embarrassingly big car
and I'll be tHere.
(Crowd laugHing)
It's gonna be a very good CHristmas.
(CHeering)
- RigHt.
- I'd better be