[Light switch clicks]
BUZZ: Rod, do they have
nude beaches in Florida?
GlRL: Where are my magazines?
FRANK: Leslie!
Leslie, what'd you do
with my golf balls?
BUZZ:
Fifteen and a half sunblock.
BUZZ:
Fifteen and a half sunblock.
TRACY: Could I get
a string bikini in Florida?
LESLlE: Pack your beach towel.
BUZZ: Nobody can order pizza
in this house.
FRANK: Where are my golf balls?
BUZZ: You know why? 'Cause I'm
the only guy who likes pizza.
TRACY:
Has anybody seen my sunblock?
What's the point
of going to Florida...
if you're gonna put on
sunblock?
I don't care if I age
like an old suitcase.
-I'm getting toasted.
-Great.
Now you can be a skag
with slightly darker skin.
He's jealous
'cause he can't tan.
His freckles just connect.
FRANK:
Hey, easy on the fluids, pal.
The rubber sheets are packed.
BOB EUBANKS ON TV:
Vicky goes with Ding.
Behind Ding is 200 points.
All right. Good for you.
[Tape rewinds]
RECORDlNG:
Two hundred points. All right.
KATE: Honey, are you packed yet?
KEVlN: Yes.
RECORDlNG: Yes.
Everything I put out for you?
Yes.
RECORDlNG: Yes.
You see what Grandma Penelope
sent you for the trip?
Uh, let me guess.
Donald Duck slippers?
Ah ha! Close.
An inflatable clown
to play with in the pool.
How exciting.
Why are we going to Florida?
There's
no Christmas trees there.
What is it
with you and Christmas trees?
How can we have Christmas
without a Christmas tree?
We'll find a nice, fake
silver one...
or decorate a palm tree.
BOB EUBANKS:
Good-bye, everybody.
Guests of The New
Celebrity Ding Dang Dong...
stay at the world-renowned
Plaza Hotel...
New York's most exciting
hotel experience.
For reservations,
call toll free--1-800...
PETER: Know where the battery
for this camcorder is?
KATE: Yeah,
I put it in the charger.
[Beeping]
PETER: How's this?
KATE: Oh, much better.
PETER: Kevin,
you better put your tie on.
We don't want to be late
for the Christmas pageant.
My tie's in the bathroom.
I can't go in there.
Uncle Frank's taking a shower.
He says if I saw him naked...
I'd grow up
never feeling like a real man.
Whatever that means.
PETER: I'm sure he was kidding.
Just run in there,
get your tie, get out...
and don't look at anything.
FRANK SlNGlNG HORRlBLY:
Well
This cat they're talking about
I wonderwho could it be
'Cause they know
I'm the heaviest cat
The heaviest cat
you ever did see
Women see me
walking down the street
None of the fellas want to speak
Oh hey hey, on their faces
They wear a silly smirk
'Cause they know I'm the king
Of the cool
Jerk
RADlO: Ooh
FRANK: Get out of here,
you nosy little pervert...
or I'll slap you silly!
Oh, you're cooking, Frankie!
[Singing]
Christmas tree
My Christmas tree
Lit up like a star
When I see my Christmas tree
Can loved ones be far?
Christmas tree, I'm certain
Wherever I roam
KATE: Kevin's solo's coming up.
Tell Leslie.
PETER: Kevin's solo's coming up.
Tell Frank.
LESLlE: Frank, Kev--Frank.
FRANK: Huh?
KEVlN: [Singing]
Christmastime means laughter
Toboggans in the snow
Caroling to children
With faces aglow
Stockings on the mantel
A wreath on the door
And my merriest Christmas
Needs just one thing more
BOY SlNGlNG: Christmas tree,
my Christmas tree
Lit up like--
Oh!
Oh!
FRANK: Ha ha ha!
Kevin!
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury...
I'd like to apologize
to my family...
for whatever displeasure
I might have caused you.
KEVlN: What?
My prank
was immature and ill-timed.
FRANK: lmmature or not...
it was pretty
gol-dern hilarious.
I'd also like to apologize
to my brother.
Kevin, I'm sorry.
KATE:
Oh, Buzz, that was very nice.
Kevin, do you have
something to say?
Beat that,
you little trout sniffer.
I'm not sorry!
Buzz humiliated me.
He gets away with everything,
so I let him have it.
And since you're so stupid
to believe him...
I don't care if your idiotic
Florida trip gets wrecked.
Who wants to spend Christmas
in a