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[wind howls]
[water dripping]
[bat screeching]
[insect chirping]
[bats squealing]
[dog barks]
[horses neigh]
Three minutes.
The girl. Now!
Let's hurry a bit,
shall we?
[girl chanting in German]
Come on!
Faster, faster!
[continues chanting]
[screaming, shouting]
Or we're all
gonna die!
No! Come back
[children chattering]
Well, well, well.
Are you two
sitting comfortably?
Good. Now. Gentlemen.
Do you see
these file folders?
The ones with your names
on them?
Can you guess
what's in these file folders?
I'll give you
a hint.
Lots of them.
And some wonderful
artwork as well.
This is...?
with human head?
I'm sorry. Spider?
With human head.
Yeah. He eats dogs
and cats and rabbits.
Does he?
Sean thought him up.
You see, sir,
we kinda have
this monster club, okay?
And we draw those pictures to put
on our clubhouse walls.
Mr. Crenshaw.
You draw pictures
during Mrs. Carlson's science class
when you're supposed
to be paying attention.
Wait. I just want
to say one thing.
I mean, Ms. Carlson's
a nice teacher and all,
but she's boring and
has an odd-shaped head.
That's why Sean and the guys
call her "Meow Mix,"
'cause her head's
shaped like a cat head.
But I don't, sir,
'cause-- how rude.
I hear you.
I was a kid once.
I thought monsters
were cool.
And maybe, well--
well, gosh...
maybe I'm
just a big kid,
because, Sean, Patrick...
...I think science
is cool.
I dig it, man.
Now, I'm sure
both of you know
a great deal
about monsters,
but that's not the issue here.
The issue is...
...science is real.
Monsters are not.
We don't
know that, sir.
God, can you believe
Mr. Metzger?
Tell me about it. He touched me
and patted my shoulders and stuff.
The guy was fully
homo-ing out.
I smell like the '40s.
I mean, when they send you to school,
why don't they
tell you about the homos and
people with cat heads--
Mrs. Carlson.
Meow. Meow.
She's married, Sean.
Oh, my God! Some guy
kisses her at night?
I mean, a priest said,
"I now pronounce you man and wife,"
and it was
okay with him?
Where's Fat Kid?
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome to our show.
Tonight's question:
What makes Fat Kid fat?
Fat kid?
Get out of here,
"Get out of here, E.J."
Not a good answer.
Doesn't make any sense.
Let's go to our man on the street. Derek.
Hi. I'm Derek,
and I'm in the street
where Fat Kid is blocking traffic.
Fat Kid, can't you
stop eating?
Look, I have
a glandular problem, okay?
At least I don't have a...
stupidity problem.
What'd you say, faggot?
What'd you say?
My name's Horace!
I tore it.
I guess I must have
a stupidity problem.
What'd you say, faggot?
What'd you say?
I said,
"You're an asshole."
[children cheering]
[children fall silent]
Hey, Rudy.
See you met
my friend Horace.
You okay?
Rudy, I, uh--
You dropped
your candy bar, E.J.
It's his.
It's your now.
[voice cracks]
Rudy-- Eat.
Rudy, I'm not gonna--
Eat up!
And we'll
call it a day.
[Children groan]
Look, Patrick,
I told you before,
Wolfman cannot drive a car.
Yes, he can.
No, he can't!
Yes, he can.
All I'm saying is,
Sean, he could if he had to.
He could not. You're
being such a dork!
I know you are, but what am I?
A dork.
I know you are,
but what am I?
Oh, great. A feeb.
A dork.
I know you are,
but what am I?
A dork.
I know you are,
but what am I?
Infinity! Look,
Wolfman doesn't go to work.
He's not, like, a guy.
What are you
talkin' about?
He walks
Взвод монстров

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