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Honey, l'm a cop, okay?
You knew that when you bought
the package.
Look.
lt's important.
l'm important.
l love you.
Prove it.
l'll see you in a few hours.
Just for a night!
You see, it's a full moon!
- And l'm a werewolf!
- Take it easy.
You don't understand!
You gotta lock me up!
You gotta put me in a cage!
Buddy, l'd like nothin' better!
Hold onto your pants!
Oh, God! You don't understand!
You've gotta--
Anything you say, fella.
Put the cuffs on him.
l got it. All right.
l got him now.
Jesus Christ!
We need some backup!
Bon voyage!
Lock me up!
So, let me get this straight.
You tellin' me there was
this 2,000-year-old mummy here, right?
Yes, sir.
Well, now he's not here. He's gone.
Vanished. History.
Yes, sir.
And you're sayin' you didn't hear
anybody come in here or leave.
ls that right?
Can you hear me now? Hello?
l can hear you fine.
So, nobody took the mummy.
l would've heard them.
Of course he would've.
What a stupid question.
Did you take him?
No, sir!
Just a shot.
That's it, Del.
This case is too hard, man.
Let's be firemen instead.
l'm glad you're gettin' major laughs
out of this, Rich.
The problem is,
2,000-year-old dead guys
do not get up
and walk away by themself.
Accident patrol,
request confirmation.
You have the 915-H
officer-involved shooting en route?
My God!
You scared me!
Where are Steve and Judy?
l thought they were with you.
Not funny.
Well, something funny's...
What did l miss?
Judy? Steve?
Hey!
Oh, sheriff.
You scared us.
Never mind about that.
- This is the best part.
- Judy!
No!
Lieutenant, you wanna come over
and take a look at this?
Dispatch, Unit 7.
Unit 7, come in, please.
Please copy.
Wonderful. Great!
Just what l need.
- Come again? You're--
- What?
Request, uh, cadaver--
l can't hear you!
No, no, no! l said ''missing''!
The body's missing!
lt's the second one tonight.
Confirmed. That makes two tonight,
right, Lieutenant?
That's very funny.
And you want to shut up about it?
lt's been so long.
So very long.
Wake up, old friend.
lt is our time.
Long...time...
... Master.
And you put the candle
next to your bed like this.
Your mom did this
when you were a little girl?
lt means ''l love you.''
And as long as it's here,
nothing bad can happen.
Sean says when it lightnings,
monsters come.
Oh, he's just trying
to scare you, honey.
Will lightning hit the house?
No.
The candle keeps it away?
That's right.
Say goodnight to Scraps.
Goodnight, Scraps.
Good night, Emily.
Good night, sweetheart.
Are you gonna yell at him?
Honey... l love your father.
What?
l mean Sean, for scaring me.
Of course you did.
l'll talk to him about it, sweetheart.
Sweet dreams.
You're thinkin' about your job,
isn't that right?
l can see it in your eyes, Del.
Yeah! l'm glad you can
see it in my eyes,
'cause for a minute there
l thought l had you fooled.
- Come on, this isn't--
- No, come on!
Look in my eyes.
Look in my eyes!
l'll think about stuff,
and you can tell me
when l'm thinking correctly!
Keep your voice down.
l don't want the children--
l had a lousy night, all right?
Every night l have a lousy night.
l'm sorry it's such a pain in the ass
for you with my stupid little job!
l am trying to explain--
Some guy steals a priceless
Egyptian mummy...
That happens every day. Skip that.
Then l get a call from some nutcase
who's shouting he's a werewolf!
You like that?
What do they do?
They blow him away
right there in the police station!
Wait a minute!
There is more to this!
...marriage counseling!
For what?
There's a monster in my closet.
Damn, son, look!
All of these monsters!
Come on,
all of you monsters, outta here!
Everyone, out of this room!
Come--
You, on the bed.
Come on. Out. Out. Take a hike.
There he goes.
You see any more monsters?
ln the closet?
Sure. We can go into the closet.
We can do that.
Okay, monsters!
Look at that big, scary monster!
Listen.
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