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standards
do not apply, do they?
Well, uh, I'll,
uh, go have a bite
while you change
into something
more, um...
comfortable.
Last night,
near the ambulance
crash,
get this--
eyewitness report:
long black hearse.
No plates.
You wanna ask me
about the hood
ornament?
What about
the hood ornament?
I thought
you'd never ask.
A silver skull.
I consider this
an exciting lead.
I am excited.
Are you excited?
I'm thrilled.
Put out an APB.
I already did.
I'm a very good
policeman.
You know?
Crenshaw.
Hurry!
Get all your men
and send them
down to 666
Shadowbrook road!
It's an old mansion!
He's found the amulet!
There's-- There's no time!
Who the hell is this?
I'm the one
they shot last night!
I'm a werewolf
now, but--
Have a nice night.
No! No! No! No!
Don't hang up!
Uhh! He's gonna kill
your son!
Patrick!
Come in. Patrick.
Patrick,
come in.
Yeah, we're here.
Where are you?
We're almost there.
Everything set with you?
Know in a minute.
Rudy?
Rudy!
This babe is major.
Rudy's in love.
Well, good for Rudy.
Thanks a lot, Pete.
Okay, remember--
rendezvous position "A",
2200 hours.
Uhh...
Say what?
10:00, doofus.
How do we know
the amulet's there,
anyway?
We don't, but it's
all we have to go on.
Sean.
Okay. Well.
good luck,
butt love.
Sean.
I know you are,
but what am I?
Sean.
Out.
What, Eugene?
Creature
stole my Twinkie.
So?
What did you want
to ask me?
What do we want
to ask you.
Okay. Um, Sis...
me and Ru--
Rudy?
Your show, Ace.
Okay.
We just wanted
to know...
if you're a virgin.
What?
Okay. What we want
to know is...
are you a--
Ahem. Look.
What your brother
is so delicately
attempting to inquire,
and let me, out of my own
personal curiosity,
is the degree to which
you may have or...
have not,
at some point in time...
...been dorked?
You guys are sick!
Guess what.
Fox Photo's got
a two-for-one deal
this week,
and wouldn't you know it,
there's a space
on the bulletin board
right between
the prom committee notes...
and the football roster.
Sean.
About this
Monster Squad thing.
Maybe we could go
back to the clubhouse
and rethink it
with the other guys.
Fat Kid...you're
bein' a wuss.
Wuss?
Can it, Frank.
Time's runnin' out.
Sean, no!
Scary house...
real monsters...
us...12 years old?
Remember?
Midnight...
end of world.
Remember?
Master...is near.
Master wants
children dead.
Um, Sean?
Maybe we could be
like Math Squad
instead, you know...
do math problems.
Stay home.
Or Nature Squad.
We could look at rocks,
collect birds.
Not be dead. See,
it's this whole death thing
I'm not crazy about.
Well...no amulet.
Let's go.
Look. We got
two consolations.
Number one,
Frankenstein's
on our side.
And number two,
my dad's a cop.
Anybody fools around with us,
he kicks their ass.
Hey, Frankie.
Come on.
Frank!
Wake up!
Wake up!
Eugene, get
away from there!
He won't wake up!
Fat Kid, use your eyes.
Does it look like
you can help him?
But-- But what
do I do, Sean?
A monster!
Don't call him
a monster.
Well...what
if he's dead?
Then he died
to help us.
Now, look.
I'm the leader
of this squad,
so listen up.
He said Dracula
knows we're here.
So let's just try
to find the amulet...
...and get the hell
outta here.
Sean!
Aah!
Kick him
in the nards!
What?
Kick him in the nards!
He doesn't have nards!
Do it! Do it!
Wolfman's got nards!
Come on! Come on!
Oh...
Aah!
What are you doin'?
Haven't you read
The Hardy Boys?
You pull some lever down
and a secret door opens!
You gotta
be kidding!
You have
a better idea?
Come on, Sean.
Damn!
Where is he?
Where are you?
Come in!
Sean!
Where are you,
Sean?
10:00.
They're late.
Maybe the monsters
got them.
"Maybe the monsters
got them."
Can we go home, Sean?
Oh, great.
Please? Can't we go home?
Just great.
Frankenstein's dead,
Eugene's whining,
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