I know, I know,
we're almost there.
All right, all right, okay, let's...
Oh, cut that out!
Will you stop that?
Will you knock that off?
Come on, a joke is a joke.
Will you cut it out?
All right,
smoke 'em if you got 'em.
All right, lighten up
and listen to me now.
Hi. I guess you're wondering
how I got here.
Well, let me
first introduce myself.
My name is John Bourgignon,
of the Melonville Bourgignons.
And a good friend of mine
Chick Leff and I
ran a limousine service
back in the States.
You see, I was about
to get married to this girl
Nancy Reese.
Well, see for yourself.
You're not gonna believe
this story.
You're really not
gonna believe it.
You might believe it,
I don't know.
You might buy it,
you might not. Check it out.
I'm just gonna stop off
at Sal's for a second.
No, I don't wanna go there.
He's gonna talk us
into acting in another one
of his kung fu movies again.
That was embarrassing.
What do you
think he wants?
Look, the only time he ever
talks to me is when we're
late on limo payments,
and we're not late, so...
How does he make any money
on a look-alike service?
He don't.
We're here to see
Mr. Di Pasquale.
I think his mother
is on the phone.
May I say who's calling?
Tell him John
and Chick are here.
I'll see if he's free.
Thank you.
Fuck you!
Yeah, well, fuck you!
He's on a conference call.
If you'd care to take a seat,
he'll be with you momentarily.
Great. Thanks a lot.
Thank you.
Hey, Chick, Johnny, come on.
I've been waiting for you.
Come on inside.
I didn't know you guys
were here.
Chick, how you doing?
Here comes the bride,
here comes the bride
I got an important
meeting inside.
No phone calls,
no interruptions.
I don't wanna be disturbed.
What if you get a phone call?
No phone calls!
I got an important
meeting inside.
No interruptions,
no nothing!
Yes, Mr. Dispas...
Pasquale!
Di Pasquale, Di Pasquale!
Make yourself at home.
Is this a real Oscar, Sal?
You bet your fat ass it is,
Johnny. It's the real thing.
Best Foreign Film, 1958.
My Big Hill.
Somebody gave me that.
One of these days
I'm gonna have my own.
I've been thinking about
getting back into movies,
you know?
Yeah. Sit down.
Thanks, Sal.
So, so, so,
a lot's been happening
since I seen you last.
Been reading about you
in the paper and everything.
I mean, you're marrying
Ed Reese's daughter,
that's a very big thing.
I guess so, yeah.
So, how'd you swing that?
Well, we met
and we liked each other.
We fell in love
and we're gonna
get married.
That's very warm.
I mean, I like the sound.
The love thing
is very important,
because you know,
my own marriage didn't
work out too good, but I don't
wanna get into that now.
Sal, show him the picture.
He don't wanna
see the picture.
Come on, show him the picture.
He don't wanna see.
So I carry a picture
of the ex on me.
You know,
just for old times' sake.
I'd like to see it.
She was a sweet kid.
She was 18 when I married her.
Where'd you meet her,
in high school?
No. I wish
I went to high school.
Take a look at this.
Nice.
Took a good picture, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well...
The whole thing
turned to rat shit
just after the honeymoon.
Well, look, Sal,
why'd you call us here?
You know,
wouldn't it be interesting
if you talked Ed Reese
into letting me film
the entire wedding?
No, I'm sorry.
No, it just wouldn't work.
You don't think
I'm good enough?
I didn't say that.
Maybe you didn't see
a little film I like
to call Kung Fu U!
What?
Maybe you don't remember
a little Salvatore
Di Pasquale production,
which just happened
to gross $410,000
across this entire country
including drive-ins.
I guess you don't
remember that, huh?
And I put you
in the damn movie!
Sorry, Johnny, I got a bark
that's worse than my bite.
I gotta do something
about this temper.
I'm sorry, I didn't know that.
Oh, no, that's all right.
I'm sorry. I'm very