[Panting]
[Light-hearted instrumental music]
Rise and shine!
Honey, 6:45. Wow!
Oh, God. It makes me look fat, doesn't it?
No, it makes you look great.
Really? Thank you, honey.
RICHARD: Rise and shine. Rise and shine.
Brennan. Time to get up.
RICHARD: Look out!
BRENNAN: What happened?
Sorry. Thought it was an earthquake.
First day of school, guy.
You know,
I reviewed all my classes last night on-line.
I could do the entire
seventh grade from my desk...
...without ever having to go to school.
-Wow.
-So, can I?
-Sure.
-Really?
When pigs fly!
[Groans]
-Morning, Daddy.
-Morning, honey. Nervous?
Nope. One sandwich,
lettuce and avocado, mustard only...
...sliced apple, three cookies, a Jell-O...
...string cheese, a spoon and a napkin.
-And a blue ice block.
-What are you talking about?
-My lunch, Dad.
-Lunch. Right.
RICHARD: Okay. Got it.
SARA: Dad, relax.
Don't freak out on your first Mr. Mom day.
Lunches are easy.
I'll help you.
You'll get the hang of it. Go on.
SARA: Go on.
RICHARD: Okay.
[Light-hearted instrumental music]
[Whispering] Oh, no. Beethoven!
Oh, no.
Not again. Honey, don't use the--
[Beth screams]
BETH: Who took the toilet seat?
Beethoven!
Come on, kids. Let's go.
SARA: See you. Take care of Dad.
BRENNAN: 'Bye, Beethoven.
BETH: Brennan, you want to start the car?
BRENNAN: Yeah. Later, Dad.
SARA: 'Bye, Dad.
RICHARD: 'Bye. Good luck.
Honey, you look great.
They're gonna love you.
Honey, don't forget.
It's only till George
comes back from Europe.
I know, but it just seems so unfair
that he's staying with us...
...when there's so many skiers in the Alps
he could be rescuing.
Okay, wish me luck.
Good luck, but you're not gonna need it.
[Beth gasps with horror]
You are sleeping outside from...
...now until eternity!
[Beethoven whimpers]
[Light-hearted orchestral music]
Splendid, splendid. But you missed a spot.
Sorry, Mr. Simmons.
SIMMONS: Yes, I should think so, too.
[Sighs]
Michelangelo.
Wakey, wakey.
It's breakfast time, my lad.
What have we got?
Eggs and backey? Not quite.
Vegetarian breakfast, as usual.
There we are. Lovely.
All done?
[Simmons hums]
[Toilet flushes]
[Light-hearted orchestral music]
-Morning, Dad.
-Morning, honey.
[Beeping]
-Push "enter."
-"Enter"?
[Beeping]
Thanks, honey.
REG: It's a new portable modem.
Neat, huh?
MADISON: Yeah, Dad.
REG: All right. I'm hot.
I am very excited.
I'm gonna tell the design guys about this!
Dad, wait!
Dad! Dad, wait!
Dad!
Dad! Wait.
Your socks don't match.
Well, when you own the company,
nobody mentions it.
But, Dad!
You said you'd push me
on my roller blades today. Remember?
No. I said tomorrow.
Yeah, but you said that yesterday.
Good morning, sir. Microsedge stock is up
three and one-eighth.
All right. That's good. That's good.
Simmons, you hold down the fort
while I'm off making more millions.
As usual, sir.
Oh, no! Mr. Sedgwick!
[Screaming]
[Oriental-style instrumental music]
[Grunts]
I'm ready.
[Snorts]
Morning, Michelangelo.
-Morning, Miss Sedgwick.
-Morning, Simmons.
[Soft orchestral music]
Hey, good boy. Here you go.
-I know you like it.
-Oh, no, please! Miss Madison...
...no meat products. You'll give him gas.
And that would be most unpleasant.
Don't tempt Michelangelo, Madison.
You know what his psychic nutritionist
said about bacon.
-One piece. She'll never know.
-She knows already.
I love breakfast! I'll tell you, Simmons.
Buying Sedgefood
was the best thing Reg ever did.
Oh, yes, madam. Convenience above all.
Mom, aren't you gonna have
some real breakfast?
I can't.
I got a nude sit-in against fur at 10:00.
Any extra weight is gonna be
pretty obvious in my birthday suit.
Simmons, call my attorney.
Have one of his people, a woman,
bail me out around 11:00.
Yes, ma'am.
-Mom, can I start riding lessons today?
-Madison.
I don't know. I have issues with