the whole humans-on-horses situation.
Then, may I have a friend over
after school?
Not "May I? Can I?"
You empower yourself, Maddy.
You don't need anyone's permission.
-Well, then, can I?
-No...
...because your trainer is coming
when your reflexologist leaves.
And when he's done,
you've got an aromatherapy session.
We'll talk later.
How do I look? It doesn't matter.
It's all for the cause. 'Bye! 'Bye!
Wanna pull me
on my roller blades, Michelangelo?
SIMMONS: No, please. Madison.
Not while Michelangelo is meditating.
RICHARD: This doesn't belong
in a greeting card.
It belongs in a museum.
"Roses are red, violets are blue
"I'm sad and lonely because of you"
All right, it's lame. I don't write this stuff.
But the illustration's good.
[Questioning growl]
That's why they pay me
the low-to-medium-size bucks.
[Bell dings]
This is the first in a whole new line.
If they like this one, I get 'em all.
Stay!
Do not touch anything.
Do not breathe on anything.
[Whining]
Come to Papa.
[Cat squeals]
No!
[Screaming]
[Cat squeals]
[Dramatic instrumental music]
[Richard screams]
This is a big opportunity for me...
...and now the painting's a total loss.
After Brennan
spent so many hours posing for it.
Dad, he didn't mean to--
Sara, your father has the floor.
-Richard, go ahead.
-My deadline was already tight, but now--
[Bell dings]
Time's up, Dad.
The pot roast would have been excellent.
BETH: The mac and cheese was tasty.
BRENNAN: Yeah.
Really!
Do you think you can fix the painting?
In time, which I don't have.
Plus, it sort of hurts to hold a paintbrush.
Well, that brings us to new business.
I had a few extra minutes
at work today, and...
...I decided to run some numbers.
As you can see...
..."B.B." means "Before Beethoven."
"A.B." means "After Beethoven."
Now, I really think
the chart speaks for itself.
This dog is really costing us...
...and I didn't even figure in
the latest fiasco.
-Point of clarification?
-Yes.
-What's a fiasco?
-It's a disaster, a farce, a breakdown.
[Solemn instrumental music]
Oh, honey.
I know you've gotten attached
to Beethoven. I mean, we all have.
But I just don't think
there's enough room in this household...
...for a dog like Beethoven.
[Whines]
BETH: In fact,
I don't think there's a household...
...with room enough in the entire universe
for a dog like Beethoven.
Sorry, Mom. Time's up.
I guess that concludes the family meeting!
I love these intimate family gatherings.
SARA: What do you think Mom meant
by the house not being big enough?
BRENNAN: Well, I think it means she's
thinking about getting rid of Beethoven.
Come on. Get over it.
I mean, he's not even our real dog anyway.
I know. You don't have to remind me.
Maybe now's a good time
to hit 'em up for a new pet.
Something a little smaller, like a cow?
[Phoebe barks loudly]
BRENNAN: Phoebe's out.
SARA: I wish we brought Beethoven.
BRENNAN: Oh, no, the gate.
BRENNAN: Beethoven!
SARA: Beethoven, help!
Brennan! What do we do?
Look.
SARA: Yes!
BRENNAN: Come on, Sara. Let's go.
SARA: Thanks, Beethoven. Come on, boy.
We can't let him go. We need a plan.
BRENNAN: Okay, okay. Give me a couple
of days, and I'll think of something.
That's okay. I was finished.
Guess what, Sara.
I'm about to put the cookies in the oven.
They're gonna be warm and chewy,
and you can't have any!
Sorry, Dad. Current events.
RICHARD: Oh, no!
Who let the dog in?
You're not helping your case here, pal.
Oatmeal-drool cookies.
SARA: So, did you think of a plan?
It's only been three days. Give me a break.
Besides, I'm really behind
on my math homework.
I knew you wouldn't have a plan.
So, here, I do have a plan.
Look at this!
Hi, honey.
[Burping sounds]
Don't you dare!
[Beth screams]
BETH: Beethoven!
BRENNAN: Oh, no!
Beethoven barfed all over me!
How gross is