do you give your daughter affection?
Dr. Brothers, as you pointed out,
this is Michelangelo's appointment.
DR. BROTHERS: Mrs. Sedgwick, I think
the problem is deeper than Michelangelo.
He's merely the first one
to exhibit symptoms.
-What are you writing now?
-Notes for my new book.
When you people fell out of the stupid tree,
you hit every branch on the way down.
SARA: Heel.
Good boy.
Sit.
Brennan, look! Can you believe this?
I don't know what it is.
My dog just can't seem to learn anything.
I wish he was more like Beethoven.
Well, it didn't just happen overnight.
You just, you know, gotta keep at it...
...and eventually it'll all come together.
You just gotta...
...be patient, mostly,
and a lot of hard work and stuff.
Thanks.
-Well, I gotta go.
-I gotta go, too.
-Okay, 'bye.
-'Bye.
-'Bye.
-I guess I'll see you later, then.
BRENNAN: It's just incredible, that's all.
Top student in the class.
A beautiful girl likes me.
-It doesn't work that way in high school.
-Are you worried about Beethoven?
Real worried...
...he'll turn me into such a babe magnet,
I won't have time to eat or sleep.
Brennan, I mean it.
Beethoven's not the same dog
he used to be.
What are you talking about?
I mean, all our problems are over.
Beethoven's finally learning how to obey.
Mom's cooled off about
sending him off to some farm.
My math grades have never been better.
-Brennan, I mean it.
-I think he's totally fine, okay?
Come on.
[Loud barking]
No.
Phoebe again.
Don't worry about it.
Go on, do your stuff, boy.
BRENNAN: Beethoven!
Where are you going?
Run!
SARA: Beethoven!
BRENNAN: Run, Sara, run!
SARA: Beethoven!
BRENNAN: Get back here, you weenie!
[Slow instrumental music]
Beethoven, I know I haven't
always been your biggest fan...
...but I can see you're working hard
to fit in.
Honey, do you think he's okay?
BETH: Are you kidding?
If anybody's okay, it's Beethoven.
He's not making a mess
or chasing the mailman.
He's not even drooling.
Sure, 'cause all he does
is lie around all day.
Well, then I guess he's just civilized.
No! No, see, that's no good.
I need him to do something.
-Like what?
-I don't know.
Anything. I need his inspiration.
Come on, boy. Pee on the rug.
Just like old times. Pee on the rug.
I'm counting on him to give me ideas
for this new pet card thing.
I'm dying out there, honey.
Come on, boy. Come on!
Come on, boy, jump on the couch.
Rip up a pillow!
Martha, I don't see what the problem is.
He seems perfectly all right.
-He attacked your personal trainer.
-That's fine with me.
The man was making me do leg lifts.
I'm sorry.
I just don't see how this concerns us.
I mean, can't the staff handle this?
This isn't about the staff.
It's about the family.
REG: I think Madison should be here.
MARTHA: You're absolutely right.
-Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
-Come in, honey.
I would think you'd want
to protect your investment.
Michelangelo doesn't show anymore, but
we could make money putting him out to...
...S-T-U-D.
Besides, if you recall,
we originally bought him as a family pet.
All right.
What did Dr. Brothers
think that we should do?
We have to bring out
Michelangelo's inner puppy.
-Good night, nurse.
-Reg!
All right, fine. How?
Cavort.
-Excuse me?
-Run.
Play. Throw old tennis balls.
The things real people do
with their real pets.
Sounds like fun, doesn't it, boy?
-I don't know how to cavort.
-Well, I don't either. It's pathetic, isn't it?
He wants to teach you how to play.
Here, Dad. Catch.
[Reg groans]
BRENNAN: 'Bye, Dad.
RICHARD: Ham, cheese, pickle on the side.
'Bye, Dad.
Mustard only, lettuce and avocado,
sliced apple, three cookies, Jell-O...
...string cheese,
spoon, napkin and a blue ice block.
You got it.
[Sighs]
-I guess I'll go to work.
-Okay.
-All right.
-See ya.
'Bye, Beethoven.
I knew it.
She'd never admit it in a million years...
...but she misses
the slobbering old