but...
...he could be watching the house.
SIMMONS: Very good, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Here you are, Miss Madison.
Well, cheerio.
[Dramatic instrumental music]
NIGEL: Back! Back, dog! Back! Nice dog!
Back in your room. Back in your room.
Don't.... Get....
Get back in the room!
Well, Nigel...
...I see you have command of the situation,
as usual.
NIGEL: You lied.
You said he weren't a killer.
He's not a killer. You are an oaf.
-Whatever. Just get rid of him.
-Come on, Michelangelo.
NIGEL: And make sure you lock the door!
What are you doing with the chicken?
Have I told you how much I...
...loathe giving you your kibble
morning, noon and night?
No? Well, let me show you.
Lunch is served, sir.
That wasn't too difficult, was it?
You can come down now, Nigel.
The killer doggie is safely put away.
Yeah, well, that's okay for you...
...but the bathroom's in there,
eventually I'll have to use it.
Now listen to me.
If we can get through this
without you leaping on the furniture...
...every time the dog decides
to behave like a dog...
...then you can go to the bathroom
on the afternoon flight to Rio de Janeiro.
Why?
Right. Because we're going
to Brazil this afternoon.
I remember.
I packed my maracas. I can use--
Shut up and read this. It's your lines.
Glasses.
Come on.
[Flatulence sounds]
-It wasn't me. It was the whoopie.
-Phone.
[Clock ticking]
[Phone rings, all gasp]
Hello?
Hello?
Speak clearly.
-Ransom note.
-The puppy, you twit!
NIGEL: I have your dog.
Put 250,000 in a plain paper bag...
...behind the statue in Civic Center Park.
No police.
You have till 4:00 "pumm" today.
PM, you twit!
NIGEL: 4:00 p.m., you twit.
250,000 what?
-250,000 dollars.
-Dollars?
NIGEL: Dollars.
REG: By 4:00?
NIGEL: And make it all in unmarked
twenty-dollar bills.
REG: I don't know if I can do that.
NIGEL: If you ever
want to see that mutt again...
...you'll do exactly what I say.
No police. No mistakes.
REG: You put him on the phone.
I want to talk to him.
[Panting]
NIGEL: He's okay.
REG: All right. Just don't hurt him.
[Flatulence sounds]
-Did you just--
-No. No, I didn't.
It was the dog. 4:00 p.m.
You idiot.
-Where are you going?
-I'm going to the bank.
I told him, didn't I?
Yes. You were superb.
Now, I have to leave. Listen to me.
Are you listening to me?
Yeah, I think.
Don't let him out.
Who?
The dog!
I got it. The dog. I got it. Don't worry.
Don't worry. He's not going anywhere.
-Look at him. He's so handsome.
-Yeah.
Now I know why Brennan
was so gung ho about this.
She's cute.
I wonder if she's the one
doing his math homework.
How 'bout this? "Dear master:
"It's our anniversary.
I see you've raised your cup.
"So I drink a toast to us
and will never leave the seat up."
[Military-style instrumental music]
Be careful, honey.
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
Is he gonna be all right?
He's gonna be all right, isn't he?
Tell me he's going to be all right.
[The Land of Hope and Glory plays]
-Congratulations.
-All right. Thank you.
RUTLEDGE: Take a bite of this one.
There you go.
There he is! That's the thief!
-Who?
-Stay here.
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
MARTHA: Reg! Wait!
We're right behind you!
FBI AGENT 2: There he goes.
NIGEL: Push.
[Nigel gasps and pants loudly]
FBI AGENT 1: You gotta quit smoking, pal.
It's empty! There's no money!
This ain't right.
Johnny said we was in this together.
Why'd he rat me out?
Johnny?
Jonathan Simmons?
Michelangelo. What are you doing here?
Good boy. Stay.
Stay there. It's all right. Yes.
Good boy. Stay.
Stay.
Good boy.
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
REG: No.
MARTHA: Well?
I put it right here. It's gone!
This class's valedictorian
is one in a million.
A champion among canines.
Noblest of a noble breed.
Beethoven, front and center.
CROWD: All