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Stay with us for
blood-chilling suspense...
...blackmail, murder,
intrigue and love.
Next on Channel 8.
- A tourist, visiting a friend,
was struck...
...by a 30-pound block as he
walk ed down the stage-door alley.
The cinder block hit me
on the flat side...
...of the block itself,
as if it were hurled at me.
- When the ferry dock ed,
he was napping.
A deck hand wok e him and told him
to drive off. But Max was in reverse.
He went right off the back of the ferry.
He drowned.
But if you were complaining
about the weather this week end...
...it could have been worse.
A series of floods...
- I guess it's that time.
- You want any help?
There was a terrific recipe for capon
in the Times today.
Takes two minutes.
The National Guard has been
called out...
...and some people may have to...
Enid, someone's moving into
the Warren place.
So?
It's a funny time to be moving.
I don't see any kids' stuff.
Thank God.
Maybe we should ask them over
for a drink tonight.
- It being their first night and all.
- Tomorrow will be fine.
Well, tomorrow's not tonight,
you know.
- And it would be nice.
- There's plenty of time to be nice.
You don't have to push it.
I think they've got a dog.
Kalinqashe, the dog spirit,
is swift and faithful.
I don't care. I don't want him
in my garden digging up my bulbs.
Who would want your bulbs?
Hello.
- What can I do for you?
- Anything you like.
The question is,
what do you want in return?
Hi. I'm Ramona.
I just moved in next door.
- Oh, really?
- Really.
Who's this?
- Your girlfriend?
- No, that's my daughter, Elaine.
That's a hot one.
By the way, my name is Earl Keese.
I was real friendly
with a boy named Earl once.
Well, twice really.
So you're all moved in next door, huh?
It's a very good house. I imagine
you'll want to freshen it up.
Give it a new coat of paint,
mow the lawn.
Is your wife here?
She's in the kitchen.
- She's dying to meet you. I'll get her.
- No, no, I don't want to meet her.
I hope we're gonna be friends.
We were very friendly
with the Warrens next door.
But we weren't that close.
I mean, we were next-door close.
I didn't mean that kind of close.
I mean "close" close.
Is your wife making dinner?
She's fixing a great capon.
It was in the Times today.
Would you like to stay for dinner?
Are there more of you?
Is there a Mr. Ramona?
You go ask your wife if it's okay.
No, it's no problem, really.
Don't argue with me, Earl.
You wouldn't want me
to have to pull down your pants...
...and spank your little buns...
...would you?
Don't you go away. I'll be right back.
Okay?
- How many frozen waffles you want?
- Waffles? What happened to the capon?
- What capon?
- You said you read...
...an incredible recipe for it.
- I didn't say we were having it.
Leave it to you
to take something for granted.
Frozen waffles is all we've got.
Weren't you gonna pick up steaks
for tomorrow?
You're asking for steak?
You could have picked up
some cheap ones.
I will not eat cheap meat.
No! No!
- May I help you?
- Hi, Earl. I'm Vic.
I'm sure Ramona's already told you
my whole life story.
- No, but you must be her...
- That's me, like it or not.
If you know what I mean. Have a seat.
So, what do you say, neighbour?
Welcome to the end of the road,
I guess.
- It's a great house.
- Thank you.
I mean mine. More rooms than we
need, really, but I couldn't resist.
It was a steal.
What's on the menu, pal?
I'm starved.
We haven't eaten all day. We could eat
a baby's butt through a park bench.
I'm afraid I spoke too soon earlier.
We haven't got enough.
Enid didn't get to her shopping today.
Well, no sweat.
I'll just go and get some takeout.
There's nothing around here
except the standard burgers...
...greasy dogs and a gummy pizza.
- I can do better than that.
You just leave everything
to Captain Vic.
Look, friend, if I do the running,
I know you'll wanna spring for the tab.
Okay.
Thirty

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