you and me, asshole.
- The bastard's on the phone.
- You called me, didn't you?
- Not you.
- Me.
- Get off the line, Vic.
- Who's Vic?
- He lives next door.
- Nobody lives next door.
- That's right.
- Christ.
- Earl, you been drinking?
- What the hell is going on?
- Never mind, forget it.
And don't ever call here again.
Oh, really, Earl. Grow up.
- Vic, stop!
- Please, you promised me. Please.
- Your leg. Just one Leg.
- It's a trick.
You are pitiful, Earl.
How do you know it's a trick?
- You always go limp in a crisis.
- It's not a crisis, it's a trick.
How do you know Vic
isn't an escaped vivisectionist?
A vivisectionist!
Ramona!
Are you still in one piece?
Come on, kids.
Fun's fun.
All right. Game's over.
Enid!
Enid!
Greavy's Garage.
I'm sorry to be calling you
at this hour.
It don't matter. We're open 24 hours.
All day, all damn night. What you need?
I'm at number 2 Burt Street.
I need somebody to Let me out of my
basement, and a tow truck immediately.
Ain't that damn truck there yet?
I sent my boy Perry out there
five minutes ago.
Some fella named Vic called up.
You're kidding.
Yeah, I'm kidding. I stay up all night
so I can wank my crank on the phone.
Wait a minute.
- He just got here.
- That fella Vic...
...says you run his truck
down the swamp.
Locked him and
his missus in a root cellar.
- It was kind of a joke.
- A joke?
What the hell kind of joke is that?
It's as funny as a gutful of pinworms.
- Who ask ed your opinion?
- Who the hell has to, jack-off?
Just because I lay under
your carpet that's insides...
...and because I snake your pipes
and drain your cesspool...
...don't make me dirt under your feet.
I'm as good as you any day, asshole.
If I didn't have to do this crap for a
living, I wouldn’t sell you my snot.
Enid.
It's Like a peashooter. I saw a guy
take three slugs from one of these.
- He just kept coming.
- I remember that.
- Be cool, brothers.
- Take it easy, guys.
- You too. Good night.
- Look who's home.
- Our daughter, the outlaw hitchhiker.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Elaine, what are you doing home?
- Got kicked out of school. I'm hungry.
We're gonna party with the neighbors.
Aren't they neat? I got some vodka.
- She got kicked out.
- Leave her alone.
Vic, what did you say
is in a pile driver?
Italian Galliano for passion,
Irish Mist for love and...
- ... Russian vodka for endurance.
- Poor baby. Learn to relax.
Too much excitement's
no good for you.
Why don't you go upstairs,
take a hot bath, get into bed...
...and I'll come up to tuck
you in and help you go to sleep.
That's a good idea.
- I'll go in and say good night.
- That's a good boy.
We used to put
20 of them in there.
Activate the speed rollers, turn on
the hose circuits and that's it.
Vic Zeck's liquid lunch!
Good night, everybody.
I'm going to bed.
I bet you never seen
a pair of these before.
Take a sniff.
- It smells Like a peach.
- What are those?
They're my panties. They're edible.
Edible. Hey, wow. The wonders of
modern petro technology.
- Where'd you get them?
- At school. All the kids have them.
- They're tasty.
- They come in four flavours.
- What a great idea.
- Yeah. Four flavors.
Earl, want some of your daughter's
panties? They come in four flavors.
Banana, peach, mint,
and, of course, cherry.
Good night, ladies.
You should have gone
up to bed Like I said.
Nice meeting you.
Good night, Enid.
- Nice, Earl. Good move.
- Guys, it's 2 in the morning.
Come on, you need some sleep.
Turn off the lights, Earl.
Two? 2:00?
Is that right? Can that be right?
What do you want?
Please Let me in, Earl.
I'll give you a kiss. Anyplace you Like.
Oh, Christ.
You've got no interest in me.
Why are you coming on to me?
We could have a real good time, Earl.
I don't care about your false teeth.
- I haven't got false teeth.
- I'm sorry. I guess they just Look