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'Cause I want to find out
where we are, that's why!
You're driving.
You oughta know where we are!
Take a left.
No, I said left!
It's a desert, Leo.
What difference does it make?
Just once,
can't you do like I ask?
Relax, we're losing 'em.
Maybe they'll run out of gas.
I wish you hadn't said that.
I said left!
Two hundred stinkin' miles
of stinkin' desert,
and you gotta drive us
into a stinkin' pool of stinkin' water!
What do you figure
the odds are on this?
And I say they're bandits.
Nah, they couldn't be.
They would have killed us by now.
- Oh, no.
- The General.
Watch, he'll probably say
something stupid like,
"So, gentlemen, we meet again."
So, gentlemen, we meet again.
See?
You are responsible for this!
Hey, I can't take all the credit.
I mean, Leo here, he--
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Splendid!
A moment frozen in time.
It occurred to me
that to leave you gentlemen
here in this wretched heat,
with nothing to drink,
would be a cruel and merciless act.
In three hours,
your flesh will begin to blister.
Two hours later,
your tongues will swell.
And all that time,
you will be holding the liquid of life
in your very own hand.
And you'll still be bald.
Should you need anything,
gentlemen, just scream!
Max, there's something
I want to tell you.
What?
I really want you to know...
...that I blame you for this.
Oh, Max.
Hurry up, Max.
Something is crawling up my legs!
Leo, there's only so much I can do!
Quick!
They're crawling all over me!
Oh, quit bellyaching.
I'm getting us out of it, aren't I?
Got us into it, too.
Geez.
I'd like to see the look
on the General's face
when he sees us gone.
The only water we had,
and you had to break it.
Geez, that's gratitude for ya.
All I can think of
is a beer from Tubbs Bar.
But that's in Arizona--
5,000 miles from here.
Max, I'm quitting.
Again?
How many expeditions
have we been on together?
- Hundreds.
- Fifteen.
Fifteen, Max. In ten years.
And how many
have we made money on?
Three, Max. Only three.
That's not such a good average.
- Our average income--
- Leo...
you're being a teacher again.
It's a side of you I've never liked.
Max, we keep sticking our necks out,
and sooner or later,
somebody's gonna
chop our heads off.
What'll it be, sister?
May--may I have--
see your wine list, please?
I got it memorized.
You want white or red?
Red. Thank you.
My sources inform me that this place
is frequented by men of...
shall we say,
questionable character.
- No, here?
- Yes.
I need men of undying loyalty--
brave, not too smart.
Two men, end of the bar.
Tell 'em I said you was okay.
Come on, Leo.
You don't want to go back to being
cooped up in a classroom again, do ya?
The bartender says I'm okay.
That's good enough for me.
Good.
This is gonna be
easier than I thought.
- Hello, I'm Patricia Goodwin.
- Max Donigan, Leo Porter.
Hello.
Gentlemen, I have
a business proposition for you.
But I must warn you,
the men I hire
need to be very brave.
Well, we...
laugh in the face of death,
right, Leo?
Now it won't be easy.
It might even be dangerous.
But it could be worth
a lot of money.
Money?
Money.
You see, I've recently
acquired a map,
and I'm convinced
it leads to a great amount of gold.
What's the location?
An Indian reservation
not far from here near the border.
Help me find the gold,
and we'll split it--50/50.
What makes you sure that
that map of yours is authentic?
There must be gold there
because someone's willing to kill for it.
And who might that be?
I don't know,
but he's very dangerous.
Well, there is one other thing,
but you're probably
not gonna believe me.
No, no, we'll believe it.
The man who wants the map--
he isn't really a man.
But he's--he looks like...
...a cyclops.
- Cyclops?
- A red one.
Red cyclops, man.
With long black hair.
See, I knew you
wouldn't believe me.
Oh, yeah, yeah...
we believe you.
It's just that...
there

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