country?
Well enough.
Oh, I'd never go into the jungle.
However, I know somebody who does.
There was mention
of a hundred dollars, American.
When we hear what we're buying.
Fair enough.
There's a small village
200 miles from here in the interior.
- Name?
- Chajal.
Find a man named Gutierrez.
He's the best guide in the country.
Tell him I sent you.
Take you to Hell for the right money.
Ta very much.
Toodaloo.
Wasn't that easy?
He said your mother was a pig
and your father was a dog.
Did he mention my sister?
He's just looking for trouble.
I don't feel like rotting in some
Godawful prison over some bar fight.
I second that.
He said you have
sexual relationships with goats.
No, no, wait.
Let me talk to him.
Oh, no, no!
What are you doing?
I'll handle this.
Oh, no!
He's gonna get hurt.
No, he's just working out
his frustrations.
How's it going?
I'm wearing him down.
Oh, Max.
I--I may have been too rash.
Yep.
!Alto!
!Alto!
Doesn't feel good, does it?
Say good night.
I never realized
what a spunky devil you are.
I hate fighting.
Hold this.
Max, watch out!
- Are you all right?
- Fine, fine.
Hell.
I'm doing all right.
- Want this gum back?
- No, I got some.
You guys make friends like this
everywhere you go?
At least we got a lead out of it.
What good does it do?
You heard Boggs.
They're never gonna
let us into the interior.
We were lucky
to get out of that bar alive.
Don't worry about a thing.
I got a plan.
It won't work.
- You haven't even heard it yet.
- I'm playing the odds.
- Oh, geez.
- Oh, Jesus.
They're going to Chajal tomorrow.
Going to meet a man named Gutierrez.
- Girl going with them?
- Looks that way.
Good.
I get my payoff now, right?
You want your payoff now?
No, no...
Forget about the money.
Please, no...
I don't believe this.
I just don't believe this.
What if they ask us for our papers?
- What if they do?
- We don't have any papers, Max.
Just act wise and holy.
I hope there's a dining car.
How many pictures
does one person need?
I thought priests
were supposed to be tee-totalers.
I thought nuns
were supposed to be virgins.
Subtlety's not one of
your strong suits, is it?
Leo's the subtle one.
I'm in charge of...
charm.
Max Donigan, if you're
trying to make a pass,
I appreciate the gesture, but...
I hardly think we're dressed for it.
Yeah, I know, but...
you know,
you really do look...
...good.
Thank you...
I think.
!Alto!
!Alto!
? Que pasa?? Que pasa?
Senor! Senor!
What's going on?
We're picking up some soldiers.
Probably just routine questioning.
I don't like the routine.
Maybe they won't get to us.
Si.
He wants to see our papers.
He wants us to follow him...rapido.
No problem.
Just play dumb.
I thought we were playing
wise and holy.
You try wise and holy,
I'll try dumb.
What about me?
- Look virginal.
- Look virginal.
He wants us
to deliver the last rites.
- We can do that.
- But they'll never buy it, Max.
You just have to do a convincing job.
Me? Why me?
I don't know anything
about this stuff!
Don't even think about it.
- Here, it's your plan. You do it.
- You're just being petty.
- Is that so?
- Yes!
- Say something in Latin.
- I don't know any Latin, Max.
You think they do?
Gracias.
Ax-may, this is all a your alt-fay,
you stupid-ay erk-jay.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Amen.
She found his papers.
It's only a superficial wound.
He's not going to die.
!Padre!!Gracias. Padre!
It's a miracle.
She thinks we did it.
He wants you to bless him.
E pluribus unum.
!Gracias!!Gracias!
!Muchas gracias. Padre!
What'd I tell you? Piece of cake.
Never a cab when you need one.
I'd feel a whole lot better
if I could see some people
around here, wouldn't you?
Depends on who they are.
Come on, you guys.
Okay, you guys, smile.
All right, little closer.
All right, now serious.
- Let's go find Chajal.
- Yep.
I hope they have
a good restaurant there.
I'm starving.
She hasn't