Who needs Hollywood?
I hear they're
really nuts out there.
Give me a town like old New York
With lots of trees
And clean, fresh air
I need a place
Where love is everywhere
They say I'm
Crazy
Just a little bit out of whack
'Cause I always like to act
my dreams out
They call me a maniac
Well, if I'm crazy
What a wonderful way to be
Imagine all the possibilities
If the whole world was just like me
Crazy, crazy
Everyone thinks I'm crazy
But I've got a feeling
deep inside
They'd all like to be
just like me
So once in a while
Set yourself free
Who needs reality
A study in imperfection
Bit I'm just trying to find
a little affection
Wouldn't you like that too
People say I'm crazy
'Cause I say
the first thing on my mind
I guess freedom is
a serious crime these days
Well, lock the door and then
Throw away the key
I guess being crazy's best for me
Marvelous salad! Marvelous!
- May I have more, please?
- Yes, sir.
- Me, too, please.
- And count me in. it is divine.
Tell Sissie everything so far
is excellent.
- She'll be real pleased, ma'am.
- And I'll have a little more of that.
- A fraction more. One full salad.
- Yes, ma'am.
Is it ready?
- Needs a little more oregano.
- I put a whole lot in already.
Just a touch more.
Where'd you get this?
This isn't my oregano.
- Out of your bag.
- That's the waiter's bag.
Four more salads for four
very hungry people who are...
What's wrong with you, Mavis?
Harry, what is this?
That's personal.
- What is it?
- It ain't oregano.
Oh, my God.
You put this in the veal?
- And the soup.
- No!
And the salad.
Lord have mercy! Grass!
My grass.
Jesus! You've cooked half my stash!
Hello. Excuse me, dear.
May I talk with you for one minute?
Up your kazoo.
Wait, please.
I'm not trying to be a pest.
- I know you're an actress.
- Who are you?
My name is Skip Donahue.
I'm a playwright.
I saw you do a scene from "Romeo
and Juliet" at the Wilson Workshop.
You are wonderful.
I'm not just saying that to be kind.
If you don't get out of my way,
I'm going to kick you in the nuts.
Kick in the nuts?
You're fantastic, the way
you can switch characters like that.
The difference between this
and your Juliet is fabulous.
By the way, I know you're not wearing
anything underneath that coat.
What?
I also know that you're
a shoplifter, part-time.
What are you, some Looney Toon?
No. I'm the store detective
here, part-time.
Mrs. R.H. was my best customer too.
Well, I was James's best customer.
That's the guy who sold me
this African ganji '65!
Do you understand
what you've done to me?
My girlfriend Caroline,
just for a little of this...
not only was gonna let me have
her mind and her body...
but two of her girlfriends.
She'll ruin me when she finds out.
I'm finished.
Maybe she'll think it's the wine.
Think it's the wine?
There's no wine in the world that...
Smell that.
This is '65 African ganji
from the motherland!
Do you understand? It's been soaked
in the earth back home!
This is mean!
One joint of this
put Southern California...
to sleep back in '65!
Did you know there was
a revolution in '65?
We went to sleep and missed it
because of this.
This is mean. This is bad.
And you just spread it over everything.
I hope you had fun,
'cause I ain't gonna have no fun!
I saw you try on that dress
and pretend to steal it.
You even managed to look guilty,
which was terrific...
because you are a wonderful actress.
I also saw you slip into the Junior Miss
department, take off the dress...
and throw it in the trash bin.
Let me get this right, shit-head.
You kill me.
You think that I was
a terrific Juliet.
- You were.
- Thanks.
And you think that I stole a dress
and then threw it away!
Right.
And you don't think I have
anything on under this coat.
I know you don't.
More wine, sir?
- What is this stuff?
- It's domestic, '65. Hot, isn't it?
Was that a good year?
- Yes, the best ever.
- It's a