[Sirens, Police Radio]
That wasn't
a store robbery.
That was an
assassination.
That wasn't a clerk.
That was a wise guy.
How do I know?
I spent a little time with
the FBI's organized crime unit.
You could say that
I'm intimately knowledgeable...
with the rancorous
workings of the Mob...
in the midwest section
of this country.
I know gangland slayings,
and that's exactly what this is.
I'd look into it personally,
but I got a date tonight.
Think I'll take the private jet
and fly to Spain,
pick up
the little lady,
do the subsonic tummy bump
at 30,000 feet...
then glide back into
the U.S. Of A. By dawn.
I know what you're gonna say:
"Jim Dodge, settle down.
Relax.
You owe it to yourself."
I'll tell you
what I tell everybody.
Any little fraulein that
expects anything more from me...
than a little bit
of pleasure, danger...
and a great set
of pectorals,
she's looking for
a fall right on her ass.
[Barking]
- Hubie, Hubie!
- Let me tell you something.
If you know what's good for you,
don't you ever come back!
You're not gonna find someone
who has the relationship...
with those animals that I do.
Listen to the dogs.
They love me!
It all started
when I was 15.
That's when I invented
the artificial cow heart.
Oh, that was a big thing.
A little before your time,
but it made the newspapers.
ABC, NBC, CBS,
they picked up on it.
But it's more or less
a hobby for me, boys.
[Boy] Scoot over!
Actually, today I decided...
I've gone about as far as I can go
in the animal health-care business.
The reason that I'm not
at work this afternoon...
is because I was made an offer
I cannot refuse. I sold.
Whatcha gonna do
with the cash?
Invest it overseas,
projects in Eastern Europe.
I don't know.
I've got everything.
Jim, you just bought
the animal hospital.
How come you
sold it so fast?
Tax problem.
And here's my
accountant right now.
Earl, take a bow.
Ha-ha-ha!
20 minutes for lunch.
Go buy another suit.
He works for me.
He's scouting some
real estate for me,
but the market's
real tight.
I like the new
uniform, Lorraine.
With the right
shoes and handbag,
that might be suitable
for a cocktail party.
So... question.
When in the world are you going
to start serving sashimi?
Maybe when I find out
what it is.
You've never
heard of sashimi?
You've got
to be kidding.
It's this special
Japanese fish you eat raw.
A little
butter sauce,
and you're ready
to go to heaven.
I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't
already fired you so many times.
Did you ever think
of leaving town?
Thousands of people
over in St. Louis...
got no idea
how full of shit you are.
You've been alive for
21 years, my friend.
Plenty of time
for most people...
to find a place
for themselves.
Well, I'm not like
everybody else.
- You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, that's for sure.
How about if I...
I work for you
for free?
[Bell]
No.
I'm afraid not, Jimmy.
Think about St. Louis.
- Hey, Josie.
- Hi.
- Fill her up?
- Fill her up.
How you doin'?
You got fired again,
didn't you? Didn't you?
Who told you that?
- Hubie Marshall called me at work.
- He called you at work?
That's it, I'm gonna...
What'd he say?
He said
he fired ya!
He said that?
And you believed him?
Damn straight I do!
With all due respect, Dad,
you're Mr. Gullible. Sometimes.
The truth of the matter is,
Dad, I resigned.
- I'll tell you something else.
- Shut up, Jimmy!
I had no idea the job was
gonna be a hire/fire situation.
Luther Betenhauser's boy
is doing better.
- What's wrong with him?
- Fell off his grandfather's silo.
- He's got brain damage.
- He does not.
Hoover Fey says his tongue's gonna
hang out his mouth the rest of his life.
And when he dies,
at the funeral they're
gonna put a mask on him.
Do I have to listen to this
while I'm eating?
Let's talk about
something else.
Josie McClellan
moved to New York.
She did not.
I saw her today.
I don't know