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- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi. Can I sit here?
Where were you?
I couldn't get up.
It's so hot in here.
Please be seated.
Dearly beloved...
Richard, on the other side,
two rows back, next to the hat.
- Where?
- Don't look in an obvious way, OK?
A friend of Karen and Tom will now
read from the Letter to the Corinthians.
That's Mark Forman.
He writes a column in Washington.
Is he single?
He's famous for it.
Very single.
"Love is long-suffering and kind.
"Love does not envy. Love does not
make a vain display of itself
"and does not boast.
Does not behave itself unseemly.
"Bears all things, believes all things,
"hopes all things, endures all things.
"Love never fails.
"And now abide faith, hope, love.
"These three,
but the greatest of these...
"...is love."
Two white wines, please.
Thank you.
I'm Mark Forman.
Rachel Samstat.
I saw you on Meet The Press.
I read your article about ice-cream.
I disagree with you about
Hagen-Dazs Rum Raisin.
What can I say?
- You were so vicious about it.
- I'm a vicious person.
That's what I hear.
Next time you have one of those
food contests down at the magazine,
I'd like to be a judge. I really would.
I'll come up from Washington for it.
...how would you like to go
someplace and have a drink?
I have to go tell someone
that I'm leaving.
- You here with a date?
- No. My friend. An editor.
Excuse me.
I'm gonna go have a drink with him.
My wife's name was Kimberley.
One of the very first Kimberleys.
My husband had hamsters.
- Me too.
- Not as a grown-up, you didn't.
He had hamsters
named Arnold and Shirley.
And he was always whipping up little
salads for them in the Slice-O-Matic
and buying them
extremely small sweaters
at a pet boutique in Rego Park.
Also, there was a certain amount
of talking in squeaky voices.
Both of you?
Well, he was Arnold...
...and I was Shirley.
My sister always used to try
to get me to have one.
A nose job.
I love your nose.
Well, it goes with my face.
I always say that, but it isn't true.
You say you love her.
You can remember her love for you.
What happened so far?
She was decapitated
in a dreadful automobile accident.
That was the exact problem
her boyfriend was working on
at the laboratory.
So he carried the head back
in a towel that he had in the car.
And she wakes up on a tray and says,
"Where am I?
"Oh, no, don't tell me.
"I've been in an awful accident
and lost my arms and legs."
And he says,
"Worse than that, I'm afraid."
This is great.
So you just go in the kitchen
at four in the morning...
- Oh, sure.
- And you come back out with this.
This is the best spaghetti carbonara
I've ever had.
You're making fun of me.
You probably think it's very bourgeois
to cook for somebody on the first date.
You probably think
I do this for everybody.
Rachel, I love this.
When we're married,
I want this once a week.
I'm never getting married again.
I don't believe in marriage.
Neither do I.
Does your sister behave like this
at all her weddings?
- She's never done this before.
- No?
Let me go see.
Thank you. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
- Get her already.
- I will, Daddy.
Rachel, everybody's waiting.
I don't know what to tell them.
I don't know, Eleanor. I don't know.
Mom and Dad were a disaster.
Charlie and I were a disaster.
Everybody... except for you two.
How long have you and Harvey
been married?
- Twelve years.
- And it's a wonderful marriage, isn't it?
It's OK.
- The secret is wax paper.
- Wax paper?
You butter the wax paper
on both sides.
Then add the chicken just as
you would a normal casserole.
- Filleted, of course?
- Of course. And not a trace of skin.
Oh, no, never, never.
Fifty per cent of all marriages
end in divorce.
Not second marriages.
Forty per cent of all second marriages
end in divorce.
You can't even get a decent bagel
in Washington DC.
I'll send them to you Federal Express.
Thank you.
Julie and Arthur

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