Siegel. We met
in Washington. Mark's oldest friends.
I hope we're not disturbing you.
No, no, come in.
Rachel, we don't know you very well,
but we know Mark.
20 years. For 20 years
he's been terrible to women.
Lying, cheating...
Bringing them to our house for lunch
then leaving them there, vanishing.
- Until you.
- You're the only person
he's ever treated decently.
Your mother would've loved him.
Yeah.
But she was crazy.
That's true.
Add about four cups of heavy cream.
- And begin boiling.
- Cream and shallots.
- Cream and shallots.
- So simple, so far.
OK, it is done
in approximately 20 minutes.
You want me to marry him, don't you?
I don't want you to do anything.
That is such a lie.
All you therapists want is for us
to get married and have babies.
It's the closest
you ever get to a cure.
I'm just trying to understand why you
don't wanna marry somebody you love.
Because it doesn't work.
Marriage doesn't work.
You know what works? Divorce.
Divorce is only a temporary solution.
Let's be sensible. We're happy now.
If we get married, we'll ruin everything.
The minute you get married,
you start to drive each other crazy.
It'll never happen with us.
Why not?
Because you already drive me crazy.
I love you.
I have to trust you.
Do you know where your shoes are?
Do you know?
I do.
I know everything about you.
And it's just the beginning.
Made it, huh?
We are here today to celebrate
the marriage of Rachel and Mark
and their commitment
to a life together.
Do you, Mark, have this woman
to be your wife,
to love her, honour her,
cherish her in joy and in sorrow
for as long as you both shall live?
I do.
Do you, Rachel, have this man
to be your husband,
to love him, honour him,
cherish him in joy and in sorrow
for as long as you both shall live?
I do.
I, Mark Louis Forman, take you,
Rachel Louise Samstat,
to be my wife,
to have and to hold,
to love and to cherish
from this day forward,
until death part... part us.
With this ring, I wed thee.
I, Rachel Louise Samstat,
take you, Mark Louis Forman,
to be my husband,
to love and to cherish,
to have and to hold,
from this day forward,
until death shall part us.
With this ring, I thee wed.
As Mark and Rachel
have decided to marry
and have promised to be loving
and faithful to each other
through all the circumstances
life may bring,
have exchanged rings
as a token of that pledge,
I declare that they are
husband and wife.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Gorgeous little tree.
- Oh, this white one?
- Yes.
- No, no.
- What? Which one?
- The...
- Oh, the sold one.
Needs a little work. OK?
Oh, well, we got a good price on it
because they had a sort of a fire.
Thank you.
And this...
...is...
...why we bought the place.
It's the... It's the original fireplace.
What do you think?
Yeah, you have to use
your imagination.
It's going to be beautiful.
Not necessarily in your lifetime.
It's just that there's no door
to the kitchen.
The back door.
The back door.
Yes.
It's true.
You can get into the kitchen...
...through the back door.
This, we know is a kitchen.
But you can't get inside the house
from in the kitchen!
Now, how the fuck
did this happen?!
Mark. For God's sake.
Laszlo, we thought that
you could put a door here.
She's a piece of cake.
- He's a piece of cake.
- It's a piece of cake.
- You are Hungarian?
- No. You are Hungarian.
- Yes.
- Yes. Hungarians have no pronouns.
Apparently, they don't have
fucking doors, either.
She is very angry at me.
He is very angry at you. Yes.
- Why aren't you angry at him?
- It's only a door, honey.
It will be extra, yes?
Why don't we just hire
another contractor?
Forget about the money
and just hire someone else.
That's just what I was thinking.
In China they have to eat
this shit every day.
Nobody's making you eat it. They're
serving dinner at this stupid party.
What are you so upset about?
There's just dust everywhere.