Oh, yeah, make sure
you get that.
Without him, things could've gone really
fucking wrong tonight.
- Fuck!
- Don't! Don't you dare.
Don't.
Graham Waters.
No. No, he's not here, Mom.
I'm not gonna go looking for him.
Look, he'll be home when...
Just leave it alone.
Mom, I can't talk to you right now, okay?
I'm having sex with a white woman.
Okay, where were we?
I was white, and you were
about to jerk off in the shower.
Oh, shit!
Come on.
I would've said you were Mexican, but I don't
think it would've pissed her off as much.
Why do you keep everybody
at a certain distance, huh?
- What, you start to feel something and panic?
- Come on, Maria.
You're just pissed
'cause I answered the phone.
That's just where
I begin to get pissed.
I mean, really, what kind of man
speaks to his mother that way?
Oh, this is about my mother.
What do you know about my mother?
If I was your father,
I'd kick your fucking ass.
Okay. I was raised badly.
Why don't you take your clothes off,
get back into bed and teach me a lesson?
You want a lesson? I'll give you a lesson.
How 'bout a geography lesson?
My father's from Puerto Rico.
My mother's from El Salvador.
Neither one of those is Mexico.
Ah. Then I guess the big mystery is
who gathered all those
remarkably different cultures together
and taught them all how
to park their cars on their lawns?
Pop, you okay?
If I could piss, I'd be okay.
I'm... Jesus.
I'm done now.
Give me a hand.
Wait a goddamn minute!
- Wait a minute.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
All right. Okay. Okay.
Wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop!
- I gotta go back.
- Okay.
What, are you gonna
stand there and stare at me?
- So Conklin just shot him?
- Mm-hmm.
- They know each other?
- Sir.
It's a grudge thing?
Not as far as we can tell.
You think this is
racially motivated?
Well, a dozen people heard the shots.
Nobody saw anything.
- Who do we have on it?
- Graham Waters.
Waters. All right. Well, tell him
he speaks to no one but me.
Call a press conference for 4:00,
and I want Waters here at 3:30.
And would someone
please find Flanagan.
Oh! What up, Mo Phat?
Man robs purses from old ladies and you,
"Hey, how's it goin', Mo Phat?"
That nigger will steal teeth
from a cripple, man.
You callin' him a thief?
And we do what?
The man steals
from black people.
Only reason black people steal from their own
is 'cause they terrified of white people.
Oh, man, please.
Think about it. Sherman Oaks.
Burbank. Santa Monica.
All scary-ass places
for a brother to find himself.
Drop Mo Phat at a Starbucks
in Toluca Lake,
that nigger will run like a rabbit soon
as somebody say "decaf latte. "
What the fuck did you do to my car?
Sorry I take your car, Miss Jean.
I turn key to my car, but nothing.
James wanted to take this to school.
But I don't want the kids to fight over it.
- Are these clean or dirty?
- All clean, senora!
You know, Maria, just once I would like to
wake up and find these dishes in the cabinet.
Si, senora.
No problem.
I'm startin' to understand now.
By your work, you're settin' an example
for our neighborhood.
Sort of like a big brother
kind of thing, right?
Yeah, you laugh, man.
But you have never seen me steal
from a black person ever in your life.
What the hell do you think
you doin' right now, man?
Wavin' down the bus.
Put your hand down, dawg!
Are you outta your mind?
You actually expect me
to get on a bus?
No. I was hopin' we could
push your car across town.
You know why? 'Cause we just don't
do stuff like that no more.
You have no idea, do you?
You have no idea why they put them great big
windows on the sides of buses, do you?
- Why?
- One reason only.
To humiliate the people of color
who are reduced to ridin' on 'em.
I didn't know that.
You could fill the Staples Center
with what you don't know.
You know the Kings
are playin' tonight.
You don't like hockey! The only reason
you say you do is to piss me off!
I