That wasn't too bad.
It was bad,
and you know it.
I got a short memory.
How about refreshing it?
Scotty.
- Every day.
- We're not here, man!
Why don't you get that?
I'm going to the bathroom.
Man, perfect timing.
I'm coming. Hold your jets.
Damn!
Hey, what's the story?
You're history here, deadbeat.
That's the story.
Adios. Your eviction notice.
Signed, sealed, delivered in person.
- You're gone.
- What am I, two months behind?
Three months. Today's the first,
numbnuts. Goodbye.
- Hey, but wait--
- Not buts. No waits. You're gone.
- Adios. So long.
- Oh, man.
- So what was that all about?
- Nothing. It's handled.
Okay.
- Well, what's the rush?
- Well, it's after 9:00.
You know my sister--
married a worrywart.
You rush off like this,
I'm gonna feel used, you know?
- Scotty!
- Not just a one-night stand, am I?
- No! Three or four nights, okay?
- Okay.
You've heard
of eggs Benedict, right?
Wait'll you taste eggs Scotty.
All righty,
special sauce.
That's gross, Scotty.
Do you have any OJ?
Oh, Scotty.
It's a science project.
It's for the landlord.
That is gross.
So how do you like
your eggs?
Is over easy okay?
- Rag, I'm hurting, dude.
- What?
- I said I'm hurting, dude.
- Can't hear you, dude.
Turn the music down.
I said I'm broke.
You got that hundred bucks I lent you?
I'm on empty, dude.
- Why? You getting hassled?
- My landlord wants his rent.
I think he keeps
his dick in his wallet.
Bummer.
Hey, let's run a scam.
No, dude, no scams.
I'm sick of scams.
What? The kid?
Stick scammin'
jammin' Scotty Palmer? No way!
No, I hate to cop to it, buddy,
but the thrill is gone.
- Hey, Scotty, Rag!
- Scotty!
All right!
Baby!
- So out with it, dude.
- No, dude. No, dude.
How'd it go with Kristi last night?
Come on.
You mean you actually went back
with Scotty to his dump.
I can't believe it.
So what happened?
Ragger, a gentleman does
not discuss these things.
Yeah, but surfers do.
My lips are sealed.
I bet they weren't last night.
What happened last night
was like-- oh, man.
I can't even put it
into words. It was like...
Incredible.
...wow.
I felt like I was
going to explode!
Kaboom!
Oh, Scotty!
Mmm, God.
Ooh, you're so...
# Hey, wait a minute #
# Isn't that my Lynette? #
# With that stiff Leroy
in his red Corvette? #
Worms, you horny mutt,
get over here.
Come on!
Come on, boy.
Come here.
Good boy, you little slut.
Good boy.
That's a good boy.
Get off the towel!
Give me my top!
Come on, dog, give it to me.
Dang it.
Good boy. Good boy, Worms.
Good boy, Worms.
Here's your treat.
Here's your reward.
Hey, creep,
get your fleabag off the beach.
Yeah, and give me back
my top, dog meat.
Sure thing, lover girl.
I'll even help you put it on.
I'll tie the straps.
- Scotty, help!
- Scotty!
Quick, you guys!
Excuse me. You're gonna
have to move on down the beach.
- This area's quarantined.
- Who says so?
I'm Scotty Palmer, pal.
I'm head of the geek patrol.
Now you got a license
to be geeking on this part of the beach?
Look, this is our beach.
We live here.
We don't mind sharing with you.
Just don't upset the ladies, okay?
Tell me, dipshit,
who's gonna stop me?
My friend Rag here,
he's multilingual.
He's flipping you off
in 48 languages.
I hope you know karate.
That's one dead mother.
Stop! That thing hurts!
Oh my God.
You guys got balls.
I can't believe you knocked
down the Gonads' bikes.
What, you're saying
the Gonads are assholes?
I can't believe you guys!
Your ass is grass, smiley!
Yeah, my ass
is grass, huh?
Come on, let's go!
Later, dudes.
Now have I ever steered you wrong?
I'm telling you.
Kimber has got the hots for you.
He's so gross. No way.
I don't know.
I think he's kind of cute.
Come on, buddy.
You gotta make your move.
She's stuck up, dude.
She thinks I'm a scuzz.
Forget it.
He's a scuzz, Kristi, no way.
You're a hero now, man.
You saved her.
Be Scottifitous, buddy.