That's it?
You don't have anything else
to say to me today?
What would you like me
to say, Sam?
Come on now, honey.
You're gonna miss the bus.
Have a good day.
I can't believe this.
They fucking
forgot my birthday.
Dd
I'm sure they didn't
forget your birthday.
They just didn't
remember it right away.
Same difference.
It's a drag
your sweet 16's the day
before Ginny gets married.
But big deal.
They'll remember.
Oh, easy for you to say.
Did anyone ever forget
your birthday?
Come on, Sam.
Everything's getting shittier.
My family forgetting my birthday
just makes it more vivid.
What do you expect,
a breakfast birthday party?
No, but they could have
at least said "happy birthday."
It was just like any other day.
Why don't you remind them?
They'll feel some massive guilt.
It could be highly profitable.
I wouldn't stoop
to remind them.
Since I was about 12,
I've been looking forward
to my sweet 16.
You know, a big party
and a band, with tons of people.
Tons of people.
And a big Trans Am
in the driveway
with a ribbon around it.
And some incredibly gorgeous
guy that you meet in France.
And you do it on a cloud
without getting pregnant
or herpes.
I don't need the cloud.
Just a pink Trans Am
and the guy, right?
A black one.
A black guy?
A black Trans Am.
A pink guy.
[Laughing]
[Bell Ringing]
[Together]
Oh, no.
[Woman]
D To those nice, nice nights d
dl remember always always d
dl got such a fright d
dSeeing them in my dark cupboard d
d With my great big cake d
- dlf they were me
If they were me d
- [Yawning]
DAnd I was you
And I was you d
dlf they were me
If they were me d
dAnd I was you
And I was you d
dlf they were me
and I was you d
d Would you have liked
a present too d
dHappy, happy birthday
in a hot bath d
d To those nice, nice nights d
dl remember always always d
dl got such a fright d
dSeeing them in my dark cupboard d
d With my great big cake d
dlf they were me
If they were me d
dAnd I was you
And I was you d
dlf they were me
If they were me d
dAnd I was you
And I was you d
dlf they were me and I was you d
[Sighing]
D Would you have liked
a present too d
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
[Sighs]
[Snoring Softly]
DHappy birthday
Happy birthday d
dHappy birthday
Happy birthday dd
You swear to God,
you don't have it?
I don't know anything about it.
Jennifer Woods
gave me a sex test
during child development.
And I was supposed to
do it and pass it to you
in independent study.
[Sighing]
I'm totally screwed.
Did you put your name on it?
Hi. No, but it was
really embarrassing.
I had to name
who I'd do it with
if I ever did it.
Who'd you name?
Jake Ryan.
Jake Ryan? He doesn't
even know you exist.
Thank you. That's
a very nice thing to say.
I'm sorry.
ButJake Ryan?
He's a senior,
and he's taken.
I mean, really taken.
I know. It was
supposed to be my ideal.
He's ideal, for sure,
but forget it.
God, I hope whoever
got the note doesn't know
it was me who wrote it.
I'd shit twice and die.
Do you know
Samantha Baker?
Sophomore, right?
Yeah. What do
you think of her?
I don't.
Would you ever
go out with her?
Depends on how much
you paid me.
She's not ugly.
There's nothin'
there, man.
It's not ugly.
It's just... void.
You know what I mean?
There's somethin'
about her.
I do independent study
with her. I catch her
lookin' at me a lot.
It's kinda cool, the way
she's always lookin' at me.
Maybe she's retarded.
I'm bein' serious, okay?
She looks