to announce
that we're cancelling flight 909
due to severe weather in Chicago.
Hi. I was wondering
if you had any rooms available?
Anything will do.
- 'I'm sorry. '
- Is there another motel...
Neal.
Hi.
Well...
Welcome to Wichita.
Did you book a room yet?
I, uh, couldn't get in anywhere.
When we got in, you called home,
I called the Braidwood Inn.
I missed that one.
I got an idea. I know the manager,
I sold him some curtain rings.
If you pick up the cab fare,
I'll get you a room.
Uh...
Yeah. Yeah, sure. Great.
All right! Grab an end of this,
will you? Thanks.
- Is this your trunk?
- Yeah.
You should try lugging this thing
around New York City!
# Well, he takes you up
# And he beats you down, yeah
# He plays around
# And he spends your money... #
Where the hell is the motel?
- Doobby, is it much farther?
- Not much.
Why didn't you take the interstate?
You said your friend
has never been here
so I figured
he'd like to... look around.
- Ain't nothing on the interstate.
- It's night.
I know, but he's proud of his town.
That's a damn rare thing these days.
Take care of the luggage,
will you, Doobby?
OK, Del.
Get off of me.
Stick with me.
Evening, Gus.
Del Griffith! How the hell are you?
Still a million bucks shy
of a millionaire.
Gus, meet an old friend, Neal Page.
Neal, Gus Mooney.
Glad to meet you, Nick.
Gus, I told my friend here
you'd fix him up with a room.
You have a major credit card?
You still honour
those discount credit cards?
I'll have to charge you for a double,
but it'll come out even.
There you go, saving money already.
We're a good team.
We were going to Chicago
and the storm brought us here.
I know. I have half your flight
booked in already.
Well, I guess you're all fixed,
so, uh... there you are.
- Last room in the complex.
- You mean sh-share?
Hey, easy on that. OK.
- Hell of a cab ride, wasn't it?
- Yeah, great cab ride.
You don't see cabs like that
too often.
- Want to take a shower?
- No!
I meant did you want to go first.
You thought...
I wouldn't...
What do you think I am?
Gee, that's funny. That's funny.
Ah. Ah.
Oh, come... Come on!
Ah! Ouch, ouch, ouch!
Ah! Ah!
'You don't have to be a rock'n'
roller to wear a pompadour... '
Excuse me.
I'd switch pillows
but I'm allergic to sponge.
I'd be sneezing all night with that.
That's why I carry my own pillow.
It's hypoallergenic.
I had no idea
those beer cans would blow like that.
You left them on a vibrating bed,
what did you think would happen?
It's been a long day,
it just didn't occur to me.
It didn't occur to you, so I
have to sleep in a puddle of beer.
- You want to switch?
- I just want to sleep.
Me, too. I am bushed.
- Good night.
- Good night.
'She's sleeping in our
house! I'll have to burn the sheets! '
'What if the shoe
was on the other foot? '
'I'd go barefoot! '
Oh!
'Traffic is resuming
at O'Hare field shortly. '
Sorry.
Damn it!
- What? What?
- That's it!
If I don't clear my sinuses
I'll snore.
If your kid spills his milk,
do you slap him?
- What is that supposed to mean?
- You're not very tolerant.
You've been under my skin
since New York,
starting with ripping off my cab.
- God, you're a tight-ass.
- Would you like a mouthful of teeth?
Hostile, too.
Nice personality combination.
That's borderline criminal.
Screw you! You spill beer, you smoke,
you mess up the bathroom...
Who let you stay? I even let you pay
so you didn't feel like an intruder.
- Oh, I'm an intruder?
- Yes.
I was having a perfectly nice trip!
Who was it who talked my ear off on
the plane? Who was that? I'm curious.
Who told you to book a room?
I did. From the goodness of my heart!
You're an ungrateful jackass!
Go on, sleep in the lobby.
I hope you wake up so stiff
you can't even move.
You're no saint.
You got a free cab, a free room.
And someone who'll listen
to your boring stories.
Didn't you notice on the plane,
eventually I