My mother gave it to me
on her death... bed.
Oh, I'm sorry.
All right, darling.
I'll get it for you.
You promise?
I'll think of something.
Sex is very, very difficult for me
with somebody
that I don't trust completely.
I promise I'll get it. OK?
Ooh! I love you, Archie.
I've loved you ever since
the first second I saw you!
What was that?
What?
Your brother didn't bring you
here this time?
No.
He's no idea?
He doesn't have a clue.
What?
He is so dumb...
Really?
He thought the Gettysburg Address
was where Lincoln lived.
Those terrible lies
he told about the CIA!
So painful!
When he heard
your daughter's name was Portia,
he said,
'Why did they name her after a car?'
I love the way you laugh!
I love you, you're funny.
How come a girl as bright as you
can have a brother who's so...
Don't call me stupid.
Jesus Christ!
Ouch! Otto!
Come on!
I'll deal with you later!
What have you done with her?
- She's all right!
- Otto!
Now, apologise.
What?
Apologise!
Shit!
Are you totally deranged?
You pompous,
stuck-up, snot-nosed,
English, giant twerp,
scumbag, fuck-face,
dickhead asshole!
How very interesting.
You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
You're the vulgarian, you fuck!
Now, apologise!
What? "Me" to you?
Apologise.
All right, I apologise.
You're really sorry?
I'm really, really sorry.
I apologise unreservedly.
You take it back?
I do.
I offer a complete and utter retraction.
The imputation was "totally"
without basis in fact,
and was in no way fair comment.
It was motivated purely by malice.
I deeply regret any distress
my comments
may have caused you or your family.
I hereby undertake not repeat
any such slander
at any time in the future.
OK.
Miserere Dominus
Miserere Dominus
Canis mortuus est
You said you loved him!
Right, Otto!
Here's a multiple choice question.
A. Wanda was lying.
B. Wanda was telling the truth.
Which one are you going to pick?
What was the first one?
You said you were not seeing him!
I knew you'd come and fuck it up!
I was dealing with something delicate.
I'm setting up a guy
who's important to us.
He knows where the loot is
and if you'll be arrested.
You lope in
like Rambo without a jockstrap
and dangle him from a window!
Now, was that smart?!
Was it shrewd?
Was it good tactics, or was it stupid?!
Don't call me stupid.
Oh, right!
To call you stupid
is an insult to stupid people!
I've known sheep that could outwit you.
I've worn dresses with higher IQs.
You think you're an intellectual,
don't you, ape?
Apes don't read philosophy.
Yes, they do.
They just don't understand it.
Let me correct you
on a couple of things, OK?
Aristotle was not Belgian.
The central message of Buddhism
- is not every man for himself.
- You read...
The London Underground
is not a political movement.
Those are mistakes. I looked 'em up.
Now. You have just assaulted
the one man who can keep you
out of jail and make you rich.
So what are you
going to do about it, huh?
What would an intellectual do?
What would Plato do?
Apologise.
Pardon me?
Apolo...
What?
Apologise!
Right!
I'm sorry.
No.
Not to me.
To Archie.
And make it good, or we're dead.
Oh, I'm so very,
very, very, very s...
Fuck you!
I'm s...
I'm very, very s...
I'm so
very s...
Very, very s...
Very, very...
ssfff...
Ugh!
Hello, Mr Burglar!
Going somewhere?
Think you can rob Mr Leach?
I'll teach you a lesson.
He's a very good friend of mine.
Otto! Otto!
He'll be very pleased with me
when he finds you all tied up
and ready for the police!
And don't call me Otto.
To you, I am Mr...
Aagh!
Oh, God.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Please.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you.
How could I know it was you?
I mean,
how could you expect me to guess?
Stupid jerk!
What the fuck are you doing
robbing your own house?
You asshole!
You stupid, stiff, pompous English...
Agh!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Er... Er...
Yeah.