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Торжество

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Who's having the duck?
The duck's for me.
No it isn't.
No it isn't. Who's it for?
Me.
What am I having?
I thought I was having the duck.
The duck's for me.
Chicken for my wife, steak for me.
Chicken for the lady.
Thank you so much.
And who's having the steak?
Me. Here we are. Frascati for the ladies
and Valpolicella for me.
And me? I mean, what about me?
What did I order?
I haven't the faintest idea.
What did I order?
Who cares?
Who cares? I bloody care.
Osso buco.
Osso what?
Buco.
It's an old Italian dish.
Well, I knew osso was Italian
but I know bugger all about buco.
I didn't know asshole was Italian.
Yes, but in the other hand
what's the Italian for asshole?
Julie, Lambert. Happy Anniversary.
Cheers.
They believe in me.
Who do?
They do. What do you mean, who do?
They do.
Oh, do they?
Yes, they believe in me.
They reckon me.
They're investing in me. My nous.
They believe in me.
Listen. I believe you. Honestly, I do.
No really, honestly.
I'm sure they believe in you.
And they're right to believe in you.
I mean, listen, I want you to be rich,
believe me.
I want you to be rich
so you can buy me houses and panties
and I'll know that you really love me.
Listen, she was just a secretary.
That's all. No more.
Like me.
What do you mean like you?
She was nothing like you.
I was a secretary once.
She was a scrubber. A scrubber.
They're all the same,
these secretaries, these scrubbers.
They're like politicians.
They love power.
They've got a bit of power, they use it.
They go home, they get on the phone,
they tell their girlfriends.
Listen to me. I'm being honest.
You won't find many like me.
I fell for it.
I've admitted it. She just twisted me
round her little finger.
That's funny. I thought she twisted you
round your little finger.
You don't know what these girls are like.
These secretaries.
Oh, I think I do.
You don't.
Oh, I do.
What do you mean, you do?
I've been behind a few filing cabinets.
What?
In my time.
When I was a plump young secretary.
I know what the back
of a filing cabinet looks like.
Oh, do you?
Oh yes. Listen. I would invest
in you myself if I had any money.
Do you know why?
Because I believe in you.
What's all this about filing cabinets?
Oh, that was when I was
a plump young secretary.
I would never do all those things now.
Never. Out of the question.
You see, the trouble was
I was so excitable,
their excitement made me so excited,
but I would never do all those things now.
I'm a grown-up woman
and not a silly young thing,
a silly and dizzy young girl,
such a naughty, saucy, flirty,
giggly young thing:
sometimes I could hardly walk from one
filing cabinet to another I was so excited.
I was so plump and wobbly
it was terrible,
men simply couldn't keep
their hands off me,
their demands were outrageous
but coming back to more important things,
they're right to believe in you,
why shouldn't they believe in you?
I've always told him. Always.
But he doesn't listen.
I tell him all the time.
But he doesn't listen.
You mean he just doesn't listen!
I tell him all the time.
Why don't you listen to your wife?
She stands by you through thick and thin.
You've got a loyal wife there
and never forget it.
I've got a loyal wife where?
Here! At this table.
I've got one under the table,
take my tip. Christ.
She's really loyal under the table.
Always has been. You wouldn't believe it.
Why don't you go and buy a new car
and drive it into a brick wall?
She loves me.
No, she loves new cars.
With soft leather seats.
There was a song once.
How did it go?
"Ain't she neat?"
"Ain't she neat?"
"As she's walking up the street."
"She's got a lovely bubbly pair of tits."
"And a soft leather seat."
That's a really beautiful song.
I've always admired that song.
You know what it is?
It's a traditional folk song.
It's got class.
It's got tradition and class.
They don't grow on trees.
Too bloody right.
Hey,
Торжество

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