noses.
Listen, smart boy, I own this town.
You may have a fighter,
but you're never gonna get a fight.
We'll see about that.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet,
I'm gonna break your face.
Buddy Briggs could break
every bone in your body.
Yeah, well, he must be
a pretty good boxer.
How would you know?
You never won an honest fight
in your life.
Take it easy. Nobody wants to get hurt.
Just cool off.
Why should I?
The only reason you're champ
is 'cause of guys lying down or dying.
Let me buy you a drink. We'll talk.
I wouldn't drink with you, you two-bit,
phoney excuse for a fighter.
You're just tired,
- you didn't mean it.
- Forget it.
"Forget it"?
Nobody says "forget it" to me!
Sorry, buddy, no sax before a fight.
- Are you nervous?
- Yeah, a bit.
But I know I can take this guy.
Nothing can stop me tonight.
- What are you doing here, Martin?
- Get out of here. I've gone straight.
If you're smart, you'll go straight
to the canvas in the 12th.
Forget it.
- We've got Mary.
- What?
- You're bluffing.
- Oh, yeah?
- Mary's scarf!
- You could have gotten that anywhere.
- How about this?
- Mary's purse!
- There are millions of purses like that.
- How about this?
Mary's toaster!
Oh, my God.
In the 12th, Buddy.
I can't believe it.
I trained to win this fight.
I can win this fight. Now I gotta lose.
Buddy, I'll make a deal with you.
I'll bring back Mary,
you beat the Champ.
I radioed Hocken to get some men
and meet me at the Arena.
If I wanted to put Martin
and his monkeys behind bars,
I had to find Mary, and fast.
Johnny, I need
some information and fast.
There's a woman in trouble.
You mean Mary, the boxer's wife
who was just kidnapped?
- Right. You know anything about it?
- Maybe I do, maybe I don't.
She's in big trouble.
She's being held
by Martin's goon, Luca.
- What's a "goonluca"?
- No, Luca Burnett. Martin's henchman.
Right. Where are they?
It's a big city. Could be most anyplace.
You might wanna try Jim's Gym.
Thanks, Johnny. I'll be in touch.
- It's a bypass operation, Johnny.
- So?
The guy has a history
of sinus bradycardia.
I wouldn't know anything about it.
- You got him on atropine?
- Of course.
Do a midline thoracotomy,
strip the saphenous vein,
be careful not to puncture
the myocardium.
Tonight's main event, 15 rounds
for the Championship of the World.
In this corner, weighing 210 pounds
in the dark trunks
is the current champion,
the Champ.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
I'm gonna break your face!
I'm gonna break your face!
- No! No! No! Help!
- Police squad!
- You're under arrest!
- No way, Ray!
All right, Luca,
I've got a gun in your ribs.
I'm not Luca and those aren't my ribs.
Eat lead, copper!
- Mary, you all right?
- Yes.
So am I.
- How about now?
- Now?
Not so good.
We're about to start the 12th round.
And remember, Buddy Briggs
has never gone the distance.
At this point,
I'd say it could go either way.
Both men are strong, but tired.
And one punch could end it
at any moment.
One, two,
- three...
- Mary, Mary.
Every big fight you've ever been in,
you've taken a dive.
I'll get you a fight with the Champ
and then maybe you'll be a winner.
A winner.
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.
Auntie Em!
And Toto, too! And Toto, too!
- You'll always be a bum!
- Buddy!
...six, seven,
eight, nine...
- How many fingers do you see?
- Thursday.
- The winner!
- Yeah, Mary!
Yeah, Mary!
Mary! Yeah!
How do you feel
about the victory, Champ?
Great! It's not only
a victory for me, but for all of boxing.
'Cause I'd like to tell you
about some cheap crooks
who are trying to ruin the game.
Montague Martin!
- Kelly!
- The name is Detective Frank Drebin
and I'm a boxing fan.
- What the...
- All right, Martin,
you've fixed your last fight.
From now on, the boxers
in this town will lose honestly.
Buddy! Buddy!
- Buddy! Buddy!
- Mary!
- Hi, Ed.
- Hi,