's happening?
What's that glow?
- We're not moving.
- Oh, we're moving all right.
Backwards!
There's our princess. She's got company.
Oh, no. Spaceballs. And they've
got her in their magnetic beam.
Oh, well, we're too late.
I'll just reverse and we'll go.
Barf! No. Bad.
Why are we risking our lives
for a princess? I know we need money...
Listen!
We're not just doing this for money.
We're doing it for a shitload of money!
Oh, you're right.
And when you're right, you're right.
And you're always right.
OK, we save her, but how?
They're gonna spot us on their radar.
- Uh-uh.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh-uh.
- Uh-huh.
Uh-uh, not if we jam it.
Aha! You're right.
- Down scope!
- Down scope.
Radar about to be
jammed.
Sh...
...it!
Sir?
- What is it?
- Can I talk to you for a moment, sir?
- Well?
- Trouble with the radar, sir
You don't need that, Private. What is it?
Trouble with the radar, sir
- What is it?!
- Trouble with the radar.
- What's wrong?
- I've lost the bleeps, sweeps and creeps.
- The what?
- The what?
You know. The bleeps:
The sweeps:
And the creeps:
That's not all he's lost.
Sir. The radar, sir. It appears to be...jammed!
Jammed.
Raspberry.
There is only one man
who would dare give me the raspberry.
Lone Starr!
- What was that?
- Never mind that. What was that?
Hi.
- Who are you?
- Barf.
Not in here, mister. This is a Mercedes.
No, that's my name. Barf.
Barf? What are you?
I'm a mog. Half man, half dog.
I'm my own best friend.
What do you want?
Your father hired Lone Starr and me
to save you. We gotta go.
- Good. Quick. Hurry. Follow the dog.
- Mog. I'm a mog.
Wait. What about my matched luggage?
Hey, stop looking up my can.
Sorry.
Checking in?
What the hell is all that?
Her Royal Highness's matched luggage!
What?
Her Royal Highness's matched luggage.
Oh, matched luggage, huh? What's
she think this is, a Princess Cruise?
- Well, she wouldn't go without it.
- Oh, yeah?
Now hear this! The minute we get
outta here the first thing we do is
dump the matched luggage!
Who was that?
Now you hear this, whoever you are.
You will not touch that luggage
And, furthermore,
I want this pigsty cleaned up.
I will not be rescued in such filth.
Listen! On this ship,
I don't take orders, I give 'em.
This is my dreamboat, sweetheart
- Sweetheart?
- Uh-oh.
How dare you speak to me that way!
You will address me as
"Your Royal Highness"
I am Princess Vespa.
Daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.
That's all we needed.
A Druish princess.
Funny, she doesn't look Druish.
Now we will show her
who is in charge of this galaxy.
Hold it!
I'll handle this personally.
Jawohl, Lord Helmet.
So, Princess Vespa,
you thought you could outwit
the imperial forces of Planet Spaceball.
Well, you were wrong.
You are now our prisoner. And you
will be held hostage until such time...
as all of the air is transferred
from your planet... to ours.
She's not in there!
Radar repaired, sir We're
picking up the outline of a Winnebago.
Winnebago?
Lone Starr.
Lone Starr...
- Uh-oh, here comes the Badyear blimp.
- We'd better get outta here in a hurry.
- Switch to secret hyper jets.
- Switching to secret hyper jets.
Buckle up back there,
we're going into... hyperactive.
We're closing in on them, sir.
Soon Lone Starr will be ours.
Good. Prepare to attack.
Prepare to attack!
On the count of three.
One
two... late!
What happened? Where are they?
I don't know, sir.
They must have hyper jets.
- And what have we got? A Cuisinart?
- No, sir.
- Well, find them! Catch them!
- Yes, sir!
- Prepare ship for light speed.
- No, no, light speed is too slow.
- Light speed too slow?
- Yes. We're gonna have to go right to...
- Ludicrous speed.
- Ludicrous speed?
We've never gone that fast.
Maybe the ship can't take it.
What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz?
Chicken?
Prepare ship...
Prepare ship for ludicrous speed.
Fasten all seat belts.
Seal all entrances