Mosfilm Studios
Dedicated to St. Petersburg's
Tercentennial
Gulliver and Luch Film Companies
Russia TV Channel
Moscow Mayor's Office with
Russian Ministry of Culture
and St. Petersburg Foundation
present
Captain, why do we surface?
We're lost, your excellence.
Got to check the coordinates.
- What is this city?
- Looks like Hamburg to me.
Like hell it is.
It's St. Petersburg.
I was the naval attache here
of our great Fatherland.
I see the Russian cruiser
"Aurora".
Urgent diving until they see us.
- Destroy the witness.
Yevgenya Kryukova
Natalia Shchukina
Sergey Makovetsky
Nikolay Fomenko
Vladimir Simonov
Sergey Bezrukov
Leonid Timtsunik
Fedor Chekhankov
Alexander Pashutin
Andrey Tolubeyev
in the film by Eldar Ryazanov
The Bedroom Key
Written by Eldar Ryazanov
Based on the farce by Georges Feydeau
Director of Photography
Nikolay Nemolyayev
Production Designers Alexander
Borisov and Leonid Svintsitsky
Music by Andrey Petrov
Conducted by Yevgeny Kolobov
Costume Designer Natalia Ivanova
Make-Up by Yekaterina Ivanova
Produced by Leonid Bitz and
Eldar Ryazanov
Your excellences, the telegraph
is down. When are we going to fire?
What do you mean? What's the time
by your watch? 1.02. Can it be fast?
My watch shows 10 to noon.
- Is it slow?
- We'll be in time, sir.
In time for what? When do we fire?
The time's different.
And the telegraph's down.
What shall we do?
In the meantime, in the cinema.
I beg you. I adore you.
How much longer can you torture me?
Ah, Andre. I seem to fall in love for the
first time.
Let's go to my place. The time's
running.
Oh Andre, I... I'm afraid,
I'm married.
I don't understand what to do.
When do we fire?
Jesus, when should I command it?
- Guvnor, shoot it now.
Truth speaks in mysterious ways.
Help me Lord. Fire!
It's him! My husband fired it!
- What happened?
- What husband?
- My husband fires it!
Darling, it's the gun that every day tells
the citizens that the noon has come.
My husband speaks through that
gun!
Madam!
But it's not noon, it's 10 after!
Yes, I dropped the watch and now
it's slow.
In the next 100 years the Russian Empire
was always late for 10 and more minutes.
This is nonsense! Promise you'll come
to me tonight.
I'm not sure.
It all happened at the shore,
where waves are so hostile,
That you never could see
any ships at the sea.
The Queen played charming Chopin
at the elegant castle,
The page, listening to music,
fell in love, fell in sin...
It all happened so simply,
it all happened so oddly.
The Queen asked him
to cut the vermilion fruit...
Then she gave him a half,
as she languished him fondly,
She was wrapped into music,
so seductively cute.
Then she gave herself wholly,
she made love to him stormily,
And the dame slept till morning
as an obedient slave...
It all happened at the shore,
multicolored like a tourmaline,
Where waves are so hostile
and the page sings a lay...
- Stepan, is the mistress home?
- She's not back yet, sir Major.
How many times should I tell you
I'm neither Major nor Sir. I'm a civilian.
You're not an ammunition carrier,
you're a lackey. - Yes, sir, your excellence!
Oh Andre, I'm so afraid.
What have we done?
It's my first time, by the way.
We haven't done anything yet!
Yesterday you visited me, but
were so cruel.
Tonight or never!
I'm not the person to toy with.
Damn!
Hold on, madam!
- Andre! You're totally marvelous.
- This isjust love!
- Thank you.
- Wait. Don't leave like this!
Farewell.
You may rent our first floor.
Dearest Mommy, I'm sending you a talking
letter, the technical innovation.
Happy birthday to you.
- Here I am.
Sadly, distances separate us,
the whole Russia,
but our present dire straits preclude me
from coming to Yekaterinburg.
Why do you tickle me when I
dictate to a phonograph?
What deep thoughts do you dictate
it, I wonder?
You don't have to be nasty,
you'd better call for breakfast.
This is a