that?
Yeah, it's a hologram, my friend.
The violin!
Quiet! Stand still!
Silence!
And you say koo.
It's not a balloon, you idiot!
It's the last breath of Mr PJ.
Bollocks.
How could one person breath
so much just before he died?
Absurd.
Don't blaspheme. PJ is alive!
And I am happy.
I'm happier still.
Like this.
Come on, get inside.
Plastic.
No.
Is there a normal entrance
to this supermarket?
Normal entrance you have to pay chatls for,
my friend.
Get on with it!
Go away.
Skripach! Patsaks go there!
What are they doing?
This is the fourth pump of Mr PJ.
I love PJ very much.
I 'koo' him even more!
And here they make water from fuel.
What are they shouting?
Sell.
Sell what?
Sell everything.
So we'll take a gravitsapa!
Gravitsapas are another department.
First we need to find out
the Tenture of the Earth.
Yellow Trousers...two times 'koo'.
Think! What's the diameter
of you planet's orbit?
I don't remember... Skripach do you know?
No, we don't need Skripach. You!
All right.
The specific gravity of the core
of your planet. Think.
Specific gravity? No, I can't remember...
I see.
The names of the planets in your galaxy.
Which ones do you know? Think.

There was a crystal display!
Where is the crystal display?
Skripach! Put it back in its place!
I thought as it was lying there...
...it was a piece of glass...
Stupid idiot.
Enough. Stop your brains squeeking, fool.
Here's the number of your planet:
013 in the tenture.
On the left of the Great Bear.
Do you want to talk with the Earth?
It'll cost you another chatl.
I don't understand?..
Think of your own telephone number!
And ask them about matches.
...Hallo! Hallo! Can you hear me?

Hallo!
Hallo! I'm listening, go ahead!
Hallo!

Hallo! Lucy!
Vova!
Can you hear me? It's me!
Vova, where are you?
Well, I'm here...How are you?
You...
How's Cyril?
Where are you, Vo...
Where are you, Vova?
I'm here, in some place,
I'll explain everything later.
How's mum feeling?
Have you been to see her?
I have been... I asked you where you were!
Listen, wife of Patsak! Stop pissing about!
Run and buy two boxes of matches!
Or else you'll never be together!
 Lucy! Lucy...
Lucy. My darling...
Lucy...Lucy!
Take the phone, right now,
and ring Victor Manohin...
...tell him that the keys for the plumbing store
are in my portacabin,
under the thingy...under the cupboard.
Lying on the floor.
Did you get all that?
Yes, I got it...
Put me through to Batumi, 3-47-57, please.
Tell them to fetch Alec.
No, I won't. Piss off you bloody theif.
Is something wrong?
It's alright, only the Earth is so far way.
Instead of five, the gravitsapa needs
seven minutes to warm up.
So let's go and get the tsapa ready
for the gravitsapa.
Astronauts! Which is the tsapa here?
This rusty nail, my friend.
Yeah! Everything here's rusty!
And that's the most rusty.
Are you quite crazy?
Oh, mama-mama.
Lucy and Manohin moved, and we need...
Uncle Vova!
The match is in his cap!
Strange, that they should fly off now.
Why strange? They've got a match,
can buy a gravitsapa,
and know the Tenture of the Earth!
Comrade Etsilop! Comrade Etsilop!
They've stolen our things!
Arrest them!
Arrest them!
Forty Chatls.
We've no chatls.
Everything is with the tour guide.
And the violin they took is somebody else's.
And when they were
in front of the video of PJ,
They didn't say Koo!
Why are you staring at me?
Why are you staring at me?
If your bosses find out that you knew
of this and did nothing,
You'll be bloody trankluted! Get it?
I didn't do nothing!
I pressed the button straight away!
Skripach is a witness.
All guards!
Bring a wheeled prison tub, here
There's nothing in it.
Open it.
Show me.
It's vinegar.
It's none of your business.
The Patsak will be tranklukated,
The Chatlanian will spend his life
in a tub lying on nails.
Oh, brothers,