the result...
we turned our backs for a minute and...
disappeared in the sands.
Take it. It's warm.
Excuse me, what?
You want my hat?
I'm sorry...it's somebody else's,
I can't give it away...
There's nothing in there.
Open it.
It's not wine, it's vinegar.
Sour, eh?
Well friend so it's agreed?
You'll take us?
Skripach, quickly...
Like I said we must get to the nearest town,
and here's a way we can get there!
The jacket now...
A good thing they don't want the violin.
Now they feel ashamed!

What do you mean 'Ktse'?
He seems to want the matches.
You want the matches?
There.
The whole box?
Take us away from here,
and we'll give you 'koo'.
Not one letter to identify where it's made...
Excuse me, I don't understand...
Do you speak Turkish?
What do they want?
They want Koo!

Thank you...
He wants me to wear the bell.
Too bad.
I'll wear it, Vladimir Nikolaevich,
if it makes him happy...
Go ahead!
All right, I'm persuaded.
I'm going to light up,
if that's all right with you...
Quiet, quiet, quiet!
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
maybe we really are on...
Yes! Typical Martians.
Lusenka, darling, pest,
it seems to you these...macaroni.
So. We know Russian do we?
Why was it necessary to conceal it?
Well we didn't conceal it.
It's very difficult to fathom a language...
...when straight away you're
thinking in two languages.
And that Patsak is talking
all the time in languages...
...the rest of which he doesn't know.
Why are you staring at me,
maimoona verishvilo.
They know Georgian too...
What did he say?
Ape son of a donkey.
So. We're from the Soviet Union,
here on a cultural exchange.
They know us, and where we are,
and can find us.
If you're not prepared to let
us contact our embassy...
...there will be large scale
repercussions, is that clear?
We don't understand ‘embassy’,
put on the bell quickly!
That means you understand macaroni...
you understand maimuni...
but you don’t know what's an embassy, idiots.
I've had enough!
You're morons, understand?
You thought about macaroni and I just repeated it.
This is not the Earth, and not Africa, my friend.
It's the planet Pluk, 215 in tenture.
In the galactic spiral of Kin Dza Dza.
Do you understand?
How do you do? Let's go...
Wear the bells, my friend... Wear them.
There we are, well done.
Excuse me, where are we?
Sh! She has very sensitive ears.
Do you know the tenture of your own planet?
Tenture?
Well, tell me the number of
your galaxy in the spiral.
In the spiral?
In the spiral. The spiral...
Yes...
You know where the earth is.
It orbits with such planets as er...
Venus, Saturn, Mars, Jupiter...
What others, Vladimir Nikolaevich?
The Great Bear.
Vladimir Nikolaevich - come here.
On your planet do you have more matches?
Well, you'll find them.
How many will you give us
if we set you back there?
How many do you need?
Two packs like these!
Seven!
Seven.
But give us what you have now,
I will buy a gravitsapa from them.
Sorry, but what is a gravitsapa?
Without a gravitsapa a pepelats
can only fly like this,
but with one you can reach
any point in the universe - in five seconds.
My friends, how is it that you bring a pepelats
without a gravitsapa from the garage?
It's not in working order.
We had a gravitsapa. But when
we arrived here, it broke down.
Aha.
But don't you have a transference machine?
No.
No.
Give me the matches.
Give us some water.
Like this! You need to do this!
Foo.. You need to do this!
Foo...Do this...Foo...
It's yours, now smoke like this.
Thank you.
He says there they have a gravitsapa.
Put your matches here.
Here's what we'll do. When you put us
on the earth, you can have them...
What do you mean?
Come on, Skripach, to the open cosmos.
Wait! Come back. Come back!
On mother earth you'll get them.
Vladimir Nikolaevich! You said
if we take you, you will give us them all.
But then you stole this match from us.
Patsak doesn't cheat