Married? You mean those people I'm with?
That's my brother's family.
My brother's ring.
I usually borrow them on
these little inspection tours of mine.
It helps to complete the disguise.
It's fun for them.
It's a good disguise.
I like the station-wagon effect.
Yeah? Well, that's a big part of it.
In order to be convincing, you must look
and act like an ordinary jerk.
You know, stop at all the stupid sites
and look like a fool.
Basically, be yourself?
Yeah!
You like the disguise?
CLARK: My credo is,
if you have to have a credo...
...you know, "Go for it," pretty much.
You only go around this crazy
merry-go-round once! You know?
I agree.
Yeah.
That's my credo!
You don't have to have a credo, but...
"If the fur fits, wear it."
"A penny saved..."
"Pennies from heaven..."
My favorite credo...
...you know, "A penny saved," and...
Thank you.
This feels great!
Well...
...are you going to "go for it?"
Uh... here?
GIRL: To start with, yes.
Why not? Don't you swim?
Sure, I took third in the state finals
in my senior year.
Yeah, I'm really at ease in the water.
I'm proficient in many strokes and I dive.
As a matter of fact,
I could've been in the Olympics.
Yeah. I'll be right there.
Yeah. This is crazy, this is crazy,
this is crazy!
How's the water?
Exhilarating!
I'm in deep, I'm in deep!
It's cold!
Jesus! Fuck!
Clark?
CLARK: Cold!
Clark?
Hi, honey.
What are you doing?
CLARK: Swimming!
Yeah, my back was killing me.
I thought I'd get a swim
and loosen up the muscles.
Why go to the car and get
the bathing suit? Jump right in.
CLARK: It's exhilarating.
Guess what, honey?
This person here was...
...here!
CLARK: I didn't see this person, so...
...I screamed, that's why I yelled.
I was so surprised.
You can imagine, can't you, honey?
Honey?
Will you excuse me?
You have to go.
Well, I'd stay if I werert married, but I am.
I know.
I hope I didn't spoil your evening.
No, it's been interesting.
Well, enjoy the rest of your trip.
You, too.
I can't believe this.
I am so humiliated.
Cut it out. You don't even know
how to inale.
So?
Maybe I don't want to.
You're such a dork.
How can he do this to Mom?
They'll probably get a divorce.
I'd better go talk to him.
- Hey, squirt!
- Hey, Dad.
What are you doing up?
You woke the whole motel up, Dad.
I was... swimming.
Yeah, I saw you.
Russ, come here a minute.
Russ...
You know I wouldn't do anything
to hurt your mom.
It's been a long drive.
I work very hard for you,
Audrey and your mom.
I guess when you get older
you get these feelings...
...and these feelings make you do things
you wouldn't normally do.
Like swimming naked with girls?
Yeah! Like swimming naked with girls.
Well, not with girls.
You think I was swimming with girls?
I saw just one girl.
Who, that girl?
Oh, no, that's a waitress.
No, I was just ordering in.
She's a pool waitress.
I was ordering some fish for you,
Audrey and Mom.
She took your order?
She took my order, yeah.
Swimming waitress.
You understand, don't you, Russ?
Sure, I understand.
Do you think Mom will buy it?
Good talk, Son. Go to bed, Russ.
Goodnight.
Ellen?
CLARK: Ellen?
Honey?
Are you mad?
No.
Do you like that girl?
Is that what you want?
Oh, no.
How could I like a girl like that?
She's ugly.
I love you.
I'm sorry about everything.
I got angry because you were right
and I knew it.
I was hurt, honey.
I'm sorry, too. It's not all your fault.
I know you've been trying.
I'm going to try, too.
I know how to have fun.
And I'm going to prove it.
ELLEN: Come on. Come on! Come on!
Honey, you don't have
to prove anything to me.
I want us to have some fun together.
- Come on!
- The water's very...
CLARK: We must be gettlng close.
We're almost there.
Everybody just take it easy.
I know we're getting close.
What is that? What is that?
CLARK: There it is!
Walley World, next three exits!
CLARK: We made It, dammlt! We made It!
The