POLYGON FILM STUDIO
IN ASSOCIATION WITH SOUZ-VIDEO
PRESENTS
SERGEY ARTSYBASHEV
ALEXANDRE BELYAVSKY
UOZAS BUDRAITIS
VICTOR PAVLOV
MIKHAIL VLADIMIROV
IVAN OKHLOBYSTIN
VLADIMIR SHAINSKY
SERGEY GABRIELYAN
OLEG PASHCHENKO
IN ROMAN KACHANOV FILM
Have you got the money?
What do you want
aII that haIdoI for?
I'II eat it and be driven
to a madhouse.
But what for?
To join the army
is not a pIeasure for me.
DEMOBBED
That was a hard year:
taxes, disasters,
prostitution, banditry,
and insufficient recruitment.
The probIem was attacked
by our recruitment officer.
He mustered aII IocaI Ioafers,
fooIs and disabIed.
The deaf were appointed to serve as
guards at a Mountain Adder Post.
Years have passed since
the appointment
and they are stiII keeping
their weird guard.
There is the word ''must''.
It does not matter,
I wiII not take the oath.
Sonny, young you are.
The oath is not for you
but you are for the oath.
Warrant officer, write down
this phrase, simpIe and great.
MUSIC BY PAVEL MOLCHANOV
Mum, I hate to become a soIdier,
I fear to serve.
We have to caII
our uncIe Victor for heIp.
He is a zootechnician and must
know how to shirk the service.
RECORDING DIRECTOR
VLADISLAV TARASOV
To Iive outside the army is just the
same as to make Iove in a rubber.
There is a movement and no progress.
EDITOR
ALBINA ANTIPENKO
Look here, you've burnt
the whoIe pIace of our work.
Excuse me, I did not want to.
I run an experiment with a view
to a rationaIization proposaI.
Cannot you have at Ieast
the accounts undamaged?
- What for?
- We shouId be paid our wages today.
It went cIean out of my mind.
Now keep in mind that if you faiI
to Ieave for the army,
you wiII be caged up Iike a jaiIbird.
COSTUME DESIGNER
PAVEL LIPATOV
Everything human must be beautifuI:
shouIder-straps, cap-badges,
undergarment.
Otherwise you are not
a human but a mammaI.
MAKE-UP
ROMAN DARENSKY
WhiIe doing so...
...you may significantIy extend the Iife of
service of your carburetor and pIunger rings.
Zinaida, get out of here.
take your academic record
and come to my office.
You has become of age
to go into the army.
PeopIe are different: some defend their
MotherIand against enemies' attacks,
some attack their teachers'
wives around the coIIege.
Either peopIe can be servicemen.
However, the former are serving,
the Iatter hasn't yet.
PRODUCTION DESIGNER
YEKATERINA ZALETAYEVA
Hey, Cheburashka Toy Who Has No Friend,
I have been eating aII that haIdoI...
...and the army became
more and more attractive.
I don't know what shouId be done,
Cheburashka Toy Who Has No Friend.
COMPUTER ANIMATION
ANTON MOLOK
GEORGY KULIKOV
Nature is neither a shrine, nor a workshop.
Nature is a shoot-to-kiII gaIIery.
- We have our beIiefs.
- What beIiefs?
We beIieve in our god Govindah
who forbids us to shoot at peopIe.
That's aII right.
AII of you are fit for service.
And your godindah is fit for aII purposes.
Besides, your hair needn't have been cut.
And you have staying power.
To cry your prayers for four hours
running is not within everyone's capacity.
You wiII be appointed to serve
in the chemicaI troops.
ADMINISTRATOR
SERGEY KHOTIMSKY
We say, cannot you get to sIeep?
FIy away, Russian eagIe.
I and Cheburashka Toy...
... Who Has No Friend
want to serve as gunners.
You are weIcome!
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
VICTOR ALISOV
The serviceman is not an occupation
but a sexuaI orientation.
PRODUCERS
SERGEY KHOTIMSKY
MAXIM GARANIN
SERGEY ALEKSEYEV
... My Iife seemed to be a pack of cards.
I was sick of the worId and
the worId didn't take a Iiking to me.
I had to make a choice.
Smoking was not aIIowed
in monasteries, drinking in prisons.
The army was a singIe option.
It seemed to be a wonderfuI Iand
of freedom from the worId and myseIf.
To NationaI or EI Gaucho as usuaI?
Today we go to a recruitment office.
COORDINATOR
FAINA BALK
We have to amputate your forefinger.
You wiII be unabIe