it many times,
true, I didn't own a bass-guitar, but I played perfect.
I also dreamt, while this music was playing, to perform in some movie,
not the lead role, but to be such mariner with moustache and cartridge-belts,
to fight for motherland so that some bullet could hit me,
I fell down and died. That's all.
The very first frame: fell down, died, that's all.
But so that this music would be playing
and I would be playing the bass...
And if, together with all this, it was possible to see
how I was sitting in my room
listening to music, and it was possible to feel how much I liked this music,
and this movie wasn't taken on cinema camera
but the way I see it...
Well, I am looking from inside my head.
I don't feel boundries of my head while doing this.
I simply see.
You're looking at me,
but I - from within the brain - at you.
I'm listening to music inside the head,
but music is everywhere.
And I somebody filmed how I was playing the bass,
dying for motherland, living in my room...
that is - the way I live.
If somebody did that...
that would be the very best cinema in the world!
The way I live.
The very best.
I came back home, yet there is no home.
Turned on the music, good music.
In general, it was difficult to begin to listen to music again,
to watch some shows, to read, simply walk through the streets.
We were once punished with art there.
Movie "Cruel Romance" was shown to us twenty times in a row.
And that was so ???, cruel.
I even thought: who could've violated [the rules] so bad?
It's not that it was shown to us like: ended, started again.
No. It was shown to us in summer cinema, open air.
It began mid-october and ended mid-november.
Every day. Without sound.
Remember, there is girl without dowry, Volga river...
We were watching this and there already...
by the fifth time all parts were mixed together and
just-killed girl was singing and dancing...
I was looking at this and I thoutgh: Lord!
We have at least Volga as mother-river, but how
should uzbeks look at this?
And it was clear that
our cinema is painstaking for uzbeks.
They, uzbeks, they loved to make tatoos so much,
seagulls here, ships, years of sevice.
Then they all went to ??? valley,
well, to place where all of them live,
well, where they have their homes!
Where they wanted to return to.
And how strange must these seagulls look on grown-up uzbeks' chests.
We also had two estonians.
They had surnames Kask and Eller.
They were so seperate that they were brought outside lists.
That is, it went like Yakovlev, Yakushev and after that Kask and Eller.
They were called by their surnames:
Yakovlev! Me! Yakushev! Me! Kask! Ma! Eller! Ma!
Guys, deackhand, when hearing his surname...
it's written there, we didn't invent it.
must say "Me" loud and clear.
He has to say "ME". Is that clear?
Well...
Kask! Ma!
Eller! Ma!
Are you, german dogs, poking fun or what!
We will be practising, we will be practising...
And now somewhere lives to russian mariners Kask and Eller.
But russian mariners....what is it?
We had to...we wanted to come back home
being handsome russian mariners.
What does "return being handsome mariner" mean?
That must be ??? size 40 at least. That is, this big.
That looks nice.
Such pants were not being made. We managed following way:
we took new pants, soaked them in vinegar and pulled them over torpedo.
It turned out nice.
But fabric became so thin it didn't hold out as it should have.
Then:
we put glue in this [arrow shaped] end;
here we put guitar string, so that it would hold perfect,
and here, at the very top, we sewed in tiny piece of lead.
Such tiny bit so that when walking arrows would do like this...
That's nice.
Everything that could be sown over with velvet, was sown over with velvet.
Badges were cleaned to such condition, it was possible to shave with them
and it was possible use them as mirror while shaving.
We spent year on this.
So that we came...
and city