My body is yearning for sleep desperately.
I have things I have to do today.
I would like to be awake
when I am doing them.
I am not blessed
with an excess of adrenaline.
I am cursed by the need,
once every day or so...
...to close my eyes and to actually sleep.
"To actually sleep".
You've got me so punchy
I'm even splitting infinitives!
My mind is cracking.
Soon I won't be responsible for my actions.
- I'm warning you!
- You're a real tiger when you're aroused.
Please! Doris, I'm asking you...
...in the name of everything
we hold sacred...
...go to sleep.
I'm sorry. I would like to go to sleep.
I can't fall to sleep without the TV on.
- It soothes me.
- How about a sleeping pill?
I never take sleeping pills.
They're too enervating.
- Did you hear what I said?
- What?
- I said, "Pills are too enervating".
- Yes, I heard that.
- You know what that means, "enervating"?
- Yes, I do.
People think it means the opposite
of what it means.
Do they?
- But it doesn't.
- No, words rarely do.
- But it doesn't.
- No, words rarely do.
- Do what?
- Mean the opposite of what they mean.
My God, I'm beginning to talk like her.
Maybe you could borrow a TV set
from next door?
What are you doing?
And there's no way
to prove my innocence?
Don't worry, just before he died
the old Indian confessed.
He told us everything. Everything?
Yes, everything about the money.
They found it where he buried it,
next to the old cross on the hill.
And about Louise.
Louise, is she...
Yes, but she'll never walk again. Never?
At least not until next week...
...when she walks down the center aisle
of the chapel with you.
- But, Dad, I thought...
- No, son.
Your mother and I found her
many years ago.
A tiny thing she was,
half dead with exposure and exhaustion...
...in Samson's Gulch.
Then... That's right, son.
Louise is not your sister.
But that's another story.
Just time for a wrap-up
of this evening's latest headlines...
...before we sign off.
The body of writer Felix Sherman
was found early this morning...
...in a New York apartment.
Autopsy reports indicate
that the cause of death...
...was aggravated exhaustion.
And that's this evening's headlines.
Tonight's sermonette deals with
one of God's greatest gifts to man:
The power of sleep.
Sleep that refreshes the body
and nourishes the mind.
Sleep that knits up
the raveled sleeve of care.
Sleep that seizes minister,
priest and rabbi alike...
...without regard for color
or national origin.
"O, say can you see
And the rockets red..."
This is F-E-L-I-X TV, the Sherman Station,
signing off...
...forever.
That was terrific.
- That was really terrific.
- You're not getting up.
You made all that up?
You must be a terrific writer.
- Don't get up.
- I forgot something.
I gotta get a drink of water.
What did you write for, television?
- My God, she's up.
- Did you? Did you write for TV?
No, I did not ever write
for the lobotomy box.
What did you write for? Movies?
- No. I didn't write for movies.
- That's too bad.
- They don't seem to think so.
- I love the movies.
I used to go every night to 42nd Street.
But there was always somebody
sitting next to me trying something weird.
- Did you ever try reading?
- That wouldn't stop 'em.
No, I don't mean in the theater.
Did you ever try reading a book?
A book? Yeah.
I used to read Playboy all the time
until I got mad at them.
Why?
I posed for these terrific
Playmate of the Month thing.
What happened?
They sent 'em back.
I know the feeling.
Hey, Felix.
You want to fool around?
No, I do not want to fool around.
Okay.
Want a drink of water?
I know this is going to come
as a surprise to you...
...but I would like to go to sleep.
- Could you tell me a story?
It's impossible.
Just tell me a story
and I swear I'll go to sleep.
What kind of a story?
You know, like a good movie story.
I am extremely sorry, but I do not