dealing with my parents.
If I'm in school or hanging out
or something...
...there's all this pressure
to act cool or do the right thing.
But if I'm with my parents,
who really cares?
They don't know what's cool and what's
not, so I just put everything on hold.
That's a great way to look at it.
I'm having a great time.
Me, too.
Imagine coming all the way to Rome
to meet someone from California.
Whatever happened to us?
We were high school sweethearts.
We never even did it until we got married.
Well, at least until we decided to.
And I left him all alone in that piazza.
I said the "F" word in front of my children!
What kind of woman am I?
Exciting.
Don't fight it, Ellen.
What are you doing?
Let me take you away from this.
I don't want to be away.
I want my Sparky back.
It was just a little argument.
He'll be here any minute.
He's very jealous.
I'm calling the manager.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Are you taking any calls?
The police are here.
Stay away from the Fiat.
I'm leaving.
I'll be right down.
Debbie, Audrey!
We've got a score to settle,
and you know what I mean!
If you want to salvage our last shred
of friendship, do me this favor.
I want you to book me on a Pan Am
flight out of Rome into Chicago today!
Yeah, I'll hold.
Bitch.
Take the car keys!
Find your father!
Don't move.
Mom, where are you going?
- What's wrong?
- Mom's been kidnapped.
- Where's the car?
- Over there. Here's the keys.
There they are!
Hey, Dad, there's the Colosseum!
I've talked so much. What about you?
What are your parents like?
There's really not that much to say.
They're just normal parents.
My Dad's all right.
He's a little slow sometimes.
God, that's Dad!
- What happened?
- Not much. Mom's been kidnapped.
Darn it all!
Excuse me. There's a man in the trunk.
I'm coming!
Take my hand!
Clark, where are you going?
Get back here!
You bastard!
Come here.
Still on holiday?
Sorry. I'm looking for someone else.
No problem. I'm used to it. Good luck!
He kidnapped my wife.
You all right?
I love you, Sparky. You're my hero.
I know.
Your parents are actually pretty cool.
Yeah, they're good
for a few laughs, sometimes.
Now can we go home?
Look.
The Statue of Liberty.
I never thought I'd be so glad
to see the Statue of Liberty.
Me neither.
The great thing about traveling
is you really appreciate coming home.
I've got to go.
I never realized
how much I've missed America.
I bet America's missed the Griswalds.
I'm very sorry. Let me get...
My jacket is caught.
Yup. The Griswalds are back!It's time for America's favorite game show:
Pig in a Poke!
Pig in a poke
It pays to be a glutton
Pig in a poke
Oink! Oink! Oink!
Pig in a poke
You could win all or nothing
"Pig in a poke
Oink! Oink! "
So, let's meet our current champions:
The Griswalds.
Here's the star of our show,
Kent Winkdale.
Clark, it's time for your big decision.
Will you keep what's in the poke,
or risk everything...
...and go for the big prize?
Johnny, remind the folks
what they've already won.
The super-charged Honda 750 motorcycle!
A dream kitchen with brand new
major appliances! And for Clark...
...the king of the family...
...a ten-year supply of Regal Car Polish...
...the car wax of royalty!
First, Clark, remind our audience
who you are and what you do.
I'm Clark W. Griswald.
I'm in food additives, not preservatives.
Not preservatives!
What about the family?
This is my wife, Ellen, my son,
Rusty, and daughter, Audrey.
Hello, Ellen.
Hi, Rusty.
Audrey.
You've won some fantastic prizes.
Do you want to keep them...
...or risk everything, and be a pig?
Be a pig!
Let's keep what we have.
I love the Signore Cappuccino.
Don't do it.
Nobody ever wins the grand prize.
We've decided.
Oink, oink. We'll be pigs.
So long, motorcycle.
You're very brave. I wish you luck.
Now, a fantastic surprise.
Back, by popular demand...
...the all-time winningest family
in the history