the Pig in a Poke show.
They said there'd be rooms for four
and a rental car waiting for us.
We're the grand prize winners.
Oink, oink! We'll be pigs!
Oh, the Yanks. Follow me.
Is there anybody to help with the luggage?
Mum!
Kids, help me out. No, please sit.
This is ridiculous.
"Sixty-five rooms tastefully decorated,
with private bathroom and
shower...
"... color television,
radio and telephone.
"Deluxe accommodations at the
sumptuous Royal Imperial Windsor Arms...
"... combines old-world charm
and modem convenience. "
Clark, does this look like the room
in the brochure?
No, I think they shot this picture
from another angle.
It's quaint. I like it.
It'll look better after I've had a hot bath.
Well, the bed is nice and soft.
- There's no bathroom.
- Of course, there's a bathroom.
Europeans go to the bathroom, don't they?
Maybe they don't.
Call the front desk.
Something's wrong with this thing.
We've only got four channels, and no MTV.
That's all there are.
Just think of it. Shopping on Bond Street.
Bobbies. Fish and chips. Big Ben.
Shopping on Carnaby Street.
It's going to be so romantic.
I have to warn you,
I'm feeling very naughty tonight.
Congratulations.
What can I do for you?
I want a wake-up call for 7 a. m., please.
Good night.
You're in bed, already.
I left a wake-up call to get
an early start in the morning.
I love you.
I've been waiting for this.
I can't believe we're alone at last.
Just you and me.
I'm so horny.
And these bubbles...
...make me feel so...
I feel like...
You know.
When did you stop shaving your legs?
Why don't you just jump in here with me?
I think I made a mistake.
Is my wife in here?
No.
I get confused with the numerous doors.
- I guess this happens a lot.
- No.
- Could you unlock your legs from my leg?
- No.
My right leg is asleep.
Oh, no. Please don't.
It's very hot in here.
It's hot, yeah.
I got a mild case of herpes.
I'll just get out.
Let me just check. I've got a wake-up call.
- You won't believe this. I was in the tub.
- I've been looking for our room.
- This guy came in with a toothpaste tube.
- I went into this lady's room.
- I don't know where our room is.
- It's right here.
They don't even put numbers on the doors.
Here's our English transportation.
Now we'll have some fun.
- Where's the wheel?
- Other side, Dad.
You're driving on the wrong side
of the road.
I realize that, honey. I'm also
on the wrong side of the car.
- I'm sorry.
- No trouble, my dear chap.
I've had this bump for ages.
Now I have an excuse to fix it.
I'm fully covered.
I should thank you.
- Very sorry, again.
- No problem.
God, he was nice.
It's not bad in England, huh?
God, I must say,
the English are certainly...
We seem to have run into a bit of trouble.
What rotten luck.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to get back
to our hotel.
An American! Delighted to meet you.
Are you enjoying our country?
If I could get the driving straight...
Don't worry about a little thing like this.
I was driving on the right side
of the road...
...which is the left side of the road.
That's the whole problem.
Let me get this for you.
I'll put it back on for you.
Keep that. Take it back to New York
as a memento.
Thank you very much.
That's very kind of you.
There's another one. Thank you. Good day.
I got the hang of it now.
Just stay on the right side...
Oh, please, let me help you.
No problem. No problem, squire.
No harm done.
- It doesn't hurt much.
- I'll pay for the damages.
Good heavens, no. No need for money.
I'll be all right.
Can I get you some help? Get you to a phone?
Maybe he knows how to get to the hotel.
I hate to bother you, but we're staying
at the Royal Imperial Windsor Arms.
Royal Imperial Windsor!
Very nice hotel.
It's a little small.
Well, you go back the way you came,
and you keep going to...
You've got a bad cut.
We better get you to a hospital.
It's just a flesh wound.
Nothing to write home