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I will tell you something... Where should I start?
A, here. This is the city where I live.
Although really I don't live here. I live here:
Here I have some programs, here I go for a walk,
Here I chat and this is how I learn about the weather.
The program is called
"too lazy to get up and look in the window".
These are some secret buttons, but I won't tell you about them.
In short, if don't see it yourself, this is my computer.
Base unit, CDs, the wall is painted by some friends.
Some junk, plants... O, and this is me. Gena Ryzhov.
In antique headphones from year 1976.
This is my internet connection button.
So, everything started, when I...
O, and this is my friend Veniamin, also knows as VeNick.
Although in real life he looks like that,
he sees himself like that:
Venick is a gamer, a real fan of computer games.
And this is his girlfriend.
Although it is more complicated.
So, on one of gamer forums he met a girl.
He writes to her: I will kill you!
And she replies: No, I will kill you!
So they killed each other...
and then he realized that he had fallen in love.
And decided to meet her.
So he waits there,
And then a little girl comes to him on roller blades.
Hello! Guess what is my name!
Girl, I don't care what is your name!
So, half a year you played online computer games,
And all the time you told us you had a girlfriend,
And now appears that she is 12.
And how will you two... well...
I won't. I'll wait until she is 18.
And for entire 6 years no one will f*ck my brain!
Yeah right. So that she doesn't keep you
from playing computer games.
And they say that only by 30 a woman blossoms...
A, I forgot to tell you about Alice. This is Alice.
Her nickname is, of course, Selezneva.
She sees herself like that and over all things likes to chat.
"Hello, kisses! Bye-bye!"
That's how it is. Grown-up people with total lack of brains.
It is hard to become an adult nowadays.
How one can be an adult _here_?
O, and this is Bill Gates, and his Microsoft corporation.
You switch on the computer,
and operating system "windows" boots.
Whether you like it or not, you can't do without windows.
I'm so sick of it, that even when I am away from computer,
I see windows' bugs.
(Do you really want to pee? Yes/No)
To hell with windows, It has nothing to do with the story.
Everything started with hacking. Because hacking is cool.
One should give Nobel prizes for hacking!
But the laws are not perfect,
and for those things you can get into jail.
So, everything started when I hacked a server of the Microsoft.
Lame n00bz...
"Did you hack the server of the Microsoft? Yes/No"
"Move file "Gena" to the folder "Vladimirski Central Jail"? Yes/No"
(Vladimirski Central, wind from the north...)
What a slowpoke.
This is Lena, my girlfriend.
- Were you at the computer again?
- Look!
- Someone's butt. So what?
- just look, where this butt is!
- This butt is on your monitor. And I don't see
anything smart or interesting in it, sorry.
- Look at the website! Microsoft!
- Instead of earning money, you do some bullshit!
There is always something she doesn't like,
something that irritates her.
Everything started with women.
Because I never could reach stable connection with them.
"Error! Connection aborted."
"Error! Connection aborted."
"Error! Connection aborted."
Of course, friends tried to help me.
- I know! You have to find a hacker girl!
- You have already told me that before.
- Really?
[a year earlier]
- I know! You have to find a hacker girl!
So I searched... but didn't find anyone.
And one day I went to one hacker forum
and posted the most stupid question:
"I wonder, are there girls among us?"
Everyone started laughing...
Because for a hacker anonymity is most important.
And then someone replies:
So, I am a girl, does that change anything?
I answer: of course it does, send me your photo!
And she laughs. And asks: You are not by chance from

- - 01-09

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